ryankon518

Search for a member

ryankon518

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 May 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1235
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

ryankon518's page activity

Visits<b>jelrid</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 11:57pm<b>flattestbat</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 5:34pm<b>DefiantGirl</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 10:19pm<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 3:27am<b>Jayman0913</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 6:44pm<b>littlekes</b> - the 08/18/2011 at 11:05pm<b>its_love2</b> - the 08/18/2011 at 10:36pm<b>TrollFeeder</b> - the 08/18/2011 at 9:55am<b>ladedah123</b> - the 07/22/2011 at 6:01pm<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 06/23/2011 at 9:34am<b>Zebidee</b> - the 06/23/2011 at 9:20am<b>velvel</b> - the 04/05/2011 at 7:26pm

Fucked!<b>jelrid</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 5:57am

ryankon518's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

ryankon518's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

by displeased / 04/05/2012 at 2:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML

by Anonymous / 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML

by Say Cheese / 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

by datingmrpicky / 08/21/2011 at 11:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML

by Emily / 08/21/2011 at 12:54am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

by 44haley44 / 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 7:38pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

by Khrixas_069 / 06/18/2011 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

by MakeMeASandwich / 06/10/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML

by Kate / 06/07/2011 at 3:50am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

by 613tanner / 05/19/2011 at 1:30am / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

by rastafarimon / 04/17/2011 at 1:56am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

by kingpin7 / 03/30/2011 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML

by radiationkillz / 03/21/2011 at 12:25am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML

by Anonymous / 03/08/2011 at 8:15pm / United States (California) / Geek