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ryankon518

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ryankon518
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 May 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 702
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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ryankon518's last visitors

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ryankon518's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

ryankon518's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33692) - you deserved it (2758)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML

#17548776
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18678) - you deserved it (39368)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML

#17547922
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30979) - you deserved it (3003)

On 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by Say Cheese - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

#17543334
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15317) - you deserved it (30247)

On 08/21/2011 at 11:44pm - intimacy - by datingmrpicky (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML

#17534409
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27724) - you deserved it (36461)

On 08/21/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Emily - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
527 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17687) - you deserved it (48496)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML

#17004693
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47269) - you deserved it (5191)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:38pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

#16724592
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13638) - you deserved it (50516)

On 06/18/2011 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Khrixas_069 - United States (California)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46326) - you deserved it (7240)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML

#16542323
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10127) - you deserved it (36660)

On 06/07/2011 at 3:50am - intimacy - by Kate (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10451) - you deserved it (61188)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

#15817034
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40470) - you deserved it (7980)

On 04/17/2011 at 1:56am - intimacy - by rastafarimon (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

#15555726
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32485) - you deserved it (7713)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML

#15409356
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37284) - you deserved it (6635)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:25am - health - by radiationkillz (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML

#15243539
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29816) - you deserved it (6639)

On 03/08/2011 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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