Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 02/17/2015 at 12:45am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 31 October 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1875
  • Number of comments : 434
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About russfml : I am currently working as a physical security analyst for BMO bank.
I like to think I can play guitar and mandolin as well as a bit of a fisherman, a terrible sketch artist and firearm user.
I still haven't posted my own (passing) FML either my life is that boring or I'm lucky and not accident prone! Wtf! Lol

russfml's page activity

Visits<b>dblogic</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 10:23am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 1:55am<b>lilcuz69</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 7:13am<b>Thisisascam</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 1:23am<b>iAmPaul</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 3:32pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 6:39am<b>blufishie</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 12:28am<b>jainam</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 6:36am<b>nicolemf4</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 11:30pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 9:34pm<b>jaakeeyy1</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 6:30pm<b>trix8242</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 4:22pm<b>itswhitneybitch</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 12:08pm<b>rockaroths</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 10:27am<b>erichanoki</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 9:39am<b>rhiannahoward14</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 8:36am<b>jordanashley211</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 8:07am<b>safia012_</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 7:05am

Liked!<b>robsmit98</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 7:55am<b>blufishie</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 6:01am<b>iAmPaul</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 3:08am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 1:42pm<b>edgyraisin</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 8:57am

russfml's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of russfml's badges

russfml's favorite FMLs

Today, once again I tried to convince my dad to stop smoking. And once again, while I was speaking, he lit up a cigarette and smoked until my asthma flared up and I was wheezing so hard that I had to leave the room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32582) - you deserved it (2443)

On 02/15/2015 at 9:52am - love - by =( (woman) - Australia

Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35527) - you deserved it (2742)

On 02/09/2015 at 9:53am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I started getting calls from gay men looking for anonymous kinky sex. It turns out that my coworker has been posting my personal information in Craigslist Personals section as a prank. My wife doesn't believe that my coworker is such an asshole. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30888) - you deserved it (2014)

On 02/02/2015 at 1:41am - work - by CalledOut (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got back from a two-day trip for which I'd left my husband and kids at home. There's fresh vomit inside of my oven, and my 4 year old son has a mullet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31782) - you deserved it (3652)

On 02/01/2015 at 12:50am - misc - by neverleavingagain (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32691) - you deserved it (3399)

On 01/20/2015 at 10:08am - misc - by mybfthecrossdresser (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38336) - you deserved it (3295)

On 01/18/2015 at 4:58pm - misc - by pissed out pants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally spilled a big glass of water on the table, where I had some papers, my cellphone, and a box of donuts. With lightning reflexes, my sister heroically jumped forward and saved the donuts. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26076) - you deserved it (8581)

On 01/16/2015 at 12:09pm - misc - by phones - United States

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML


I agree, your life sucks (32709) - you deserved it (2529)

On 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm - misc - by ashamed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend sent Christmas Carollers to my house to tell me he was breaking up with me. FML

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39017) - you deserved it (3993)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster - sorry, I mean "psychic medium" - who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31572) - you deserved it (2975)

On 12/06/2014 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML


I agree, your life sucks (29652) - you deserved it (3178)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33596) - you deserved it (5699)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by immature - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I saw a customer wandering around, looking confused. I went over and kindly asked if I could help him find anything. He said no, but that he'd help me find the teeth he'd knock out of my mouth if I didn't get lost. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35565) - you deserved it (2996)

On 08/30/2014 at 11:14am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Caroline Maerten's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #1: Valentine's Day
  • It's a brand new Valentine's day, so here's a brand new blog section. Yep, you read that right, we're using the fact that Valentine's day is vaguely a controversial…

Friday 13 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: