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rossdavids's favorite FMLs
Today, in the fitting rooms at work, a 10-year-old kid threw a coat-hanger directly at my face. The kid's father didn't apologise on his behalf, but instead congratulated him on what he called "a wicked shot". FML
by anonymous / 06/04/2014 at 1:07am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work
by ashlan / 05/22/2014 at 8:54pm / United States / Work
by IBS / 05/06/2014 at 5:11am / China (Shanghai) / Miscellaneous
Today, I joked with a pregnant girl in a state juvenile correctional facility where I work that eating a lot of candy would damage the unborn baby's teeth. Without batting an eye, she responded that she would simply "eat some toothpaste after the candy." FML
by polluxdc / 01/10/2014 at 3:20am / United States (Oregon) / Kids
Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML
by master baiter / 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm / United States (New York) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 4:20pm / United Kingdom (Slough) / Love
by a single fuck / 05/23/2013 at 12:40pm / Germany (Berlin) / Love
by beyondembarrassed / 05/05/2013 at 1:44am / United States / Intimacy
by really? / 04/13/2013 at 5:21am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Susan / 03/18/2013 at 4:59am / Ireland / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Money
Today, I was running late for work and quickly grabbed my outfit from the dryer. I heard the crackling of static as I took out my shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when my co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to my back. FML
by Anonymous / 02/03/2013 at 2:32am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by weddingsalwayssuck / 01/28/2013 at 4:01pm / United States (New York) / Love
by hopelessteej / 01/28/2013 at 8:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to change my hair color. After waiting in anticipation, I took a shower to rinse out the dye and reveal my new, blue hair. Rinsing revealed not only blue hair, but blue skin caused by the watered dye running over my body. I now look like a smurf, and it's not coming out. FML
by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 1:10am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…