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rossdavids's favorite FMLs
Today, in the fitting rooms at work, a 10-year-old kid threw a coat-hanger directly at my face. The kid's father didn't apologise on his behalf, but instead congratulated him on what he called "a wicked shot". FML
by anonymous / 06/04/2014 at 1:07am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work
by ashlan / 05/22/2014 at 8:54pm / United States / Work
by IBS / 05/06/2014 at 5:11am / China (Shanghai) / Miscellaneous
Today, I joked with a pregnant girl in a state juvenile correctional facility where I work that eating a lot of candy would damage the unborn baby's teeth. Without batting an eye, she responded that she would simply "eat some toothpaste after the candy." FML
by polluxdc / 01/10/2014 at 3:20am / United States (Oregon) / Kids
Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML
by master baiter / 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm / United States (New York) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 4:20pm / United Kingdom (Slough) / Love
by a single fuck / 05/23/2013 at 12:40pm / Germany (Berlin) / Love
by beyondembarrassed / 05/05/2013 at 1:44am / United States / Intimacy
by really? / 04/13/2013 at 5:21am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Susan / 03/18/2013 at 4:59am / Ireland / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Money
Today, I was running late for work and quickly grabbed my outfit from the dryer. I heard the crackling of static as I took out my shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when my co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to my back. FML
by Anonymous / 02/03/2013 at 2:32am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by weddingsalwayssuck / 01/28/2013 at 4:01pm / United States (New York) / Love
by hopelessteej / 01/28/2013 at 8:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to change my hair color. After waiting in anticipation, I took a shower to rinse out the dye and reveal my new, blue hair. Rinsing revealed not only blue hair, but blue skin caused by the watered dye running over my body. I now look like a smurf, and it's not coming out. FML
by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 1:10am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
- Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our… Today, I got bored and decided to visit a porn site. I typed in the address and hit enter. A split… Today, my boyfriend tried to serenade me with The Sex is Good by Saving Abel. According to him, "I…