rosenkrieger223

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Offline (the 07/08/2016 at 9:17pm)

rosenkrieger223

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 February 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4839
  • Number of comments : 224
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About rosenkrieger223 : My name is Chase A. Other than that, I'm just me. That's all, really.

rosenkrieger223's page activity

Visits<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 8:47am<b>Quagmire69</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 10:23pm<b>Justkidding100</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 7:05pm<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 5:42pm<b>MrMoos13</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 3:39am<b>mcr101</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 9:32pm<b>plsdonthateme</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 11:22pm<b>Williamg901</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 12:22am<b>914smv</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 10:52am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 1:01am<b>ken29</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 8:19pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 7:45pm<b>theinfiniteend</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 6:39pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 4:49pm<b>LucyLollipop</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 5:09pm<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 1:50am<b>alissa412</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 10:16pm<b>getindoe69</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 4:40am

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 4:21pm

rosenkrieger223's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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rosenkrieger223's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

by So little trust. / 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

by DocKreso / 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm / Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska) / Work

Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML

by Anonymous / 06/28/2013 at 1:34pm / Nigeria (Lagos) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

by jgtrflynn / 06/24/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my creepy neighbor paid a guy to install a camera in my bathroom. It's been there for three months. The guy he paid? My brother. FML

by part time all the time / 06/23/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

by our kids will be derps / 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

by CatLover<3 / 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML

by thatisfuckedup / 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 3:01pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

by what the fuck / 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Intimacy