About rockne93 : Deep down, I hate the Internet
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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
rockne93's favorite FMLs
by left out / 01/11/2014 at 3:26pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my first day at my new job. Not only does everyone hate me for replacing a guy they all liked, I managed to clog the only functional toilet there. The glares and threatening head-shaking they keep doing probably means I'm screwed. FML
by shite / 01/10/2014 at 4:46pm / United Kingdom / Work
Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML
by Elisa_LmR / 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend bought me a pair of jeans. I couldn't fit into them, and he reacted to this by saying I've gotten too fat for him, and he can't be with me anymore. I took them off and saw they were a size 4. I've been a size 8 for the past 2 years, and he knows this. FML
by worstwaytodumpagirl / 12/28/2013 at 5:34pm / United Kingdom (Harrow) / Health
by hi Mum / 12/11/2013 at 2:59pm / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/09/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML
by Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood / 12/09/2013 at 12:52am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by ballplaya52 / 12/08/2013 at 12:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/23/2013 at 2:15am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML
by Ohshit / 05/17/2009 at 2:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
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- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I… Today, It was my birthday and my friends came to celebrate it. My parents thought it would be funny… Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to…