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About rocker_chick105 : Hey, I'm Corey. If I offended you, I'm not really that sorry because this is just an app and you should get over it soon because life is too short. If you came here because you liked my comment, I'm glad I made someone happy. If you are one of those creepy people who stalk FMLers to hook up with them, I have a boyfriend so yeah. Anyways, no, I do not live in NYC. There's a fuckton more to New York than the city (which I've never even been to). Message me if you like. Oh, and you should rest and meditate on what you've learned.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML
Today, I washed my sheets. They wouldn't dry quick enough, so I had to use my old Buzz Lightyear sheets. My new girlfriend took it upon herself to become a damn psychic and pay me a surprise visit right there and then. FML
Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML
Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
Friday 27 March 2015