Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

rkdstp1995

Online | Search for a member

rkdstp1995

26Fucked!

rkdstp1995rkdstp1995
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 December 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1256
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About rkdstp1995 : Hey. Sup. Whats happenin? Hows it goin? Im Ryan. Musician. Was in a band until we graduated, got jobs, got engaged, had responsibilities unwillingly forced upon us. Guitarist, Drums and backing vocals are my jams. Favorite bands are Pearl Jam, The Tragically Hip, Tool, Alice in Chains and most other bands from the 90's. Oh and Ninja Sex Party. I write music and stories too. Videogames. I make an unhealthy amount of puns. Iain Glen and Eddie Vedder have hot voices. Dont ask to see my boobs. I dont have any. I like messages though...

rkdstp1995's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - 3 hours ago<b>Arieslink</b> - yesterday at 9:55am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 1:39pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 5:15am<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:17am<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 4:06pm<b>potionowl</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 1:08pm<b>dt1990</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 9:18pm<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 7:39pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 6:46am<b>jinxy333</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 2:52pm<b>Dodge4x4Ram</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 11:23am<b>abv96</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 6:42am<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 3:26am<b>caidenjohnson</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 2:08am<b>let_yourself_go</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 8:02pm<b>UselessReject23</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 9:37pm<b>ktpnothappening</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 9:14pm

Fucked!<b>annarcheer</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 1:54am<b>littlepiglola</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 1:26am<b>fallenkilljoy</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 7:54pm<b>MrsHaxxo</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 6:24pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 4:46am<b>Kataclysm97</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 2:40pm<b>ILikeKoalas</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:03am<b>skymachine</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 7:31am<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 1:08pm<b>photogirl17</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 3:29am<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 5:50pm<b>latinablanca</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 4:36am<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 12:19am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 9:34pm<b>iAmPaul</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 5:24pm<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:26pm<b>_delaneybear</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 9:11pm<b>lolonewsom</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 3:08pm

rkdstp1995's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of rkdstp1995's badges

rkdstp1995's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

#21203004
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39952) - you deserved it (4872)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm - animals - by Jack00412 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

#21174074
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46455) - you deserved it (6647)

On 06/14/2014 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I broke my nose trying to pop a zit. FML

#21168348
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45723) - you deserved it (20745)

On 06/09/2014 at 3:36pm - health - by blanknameisblank (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

#21163612
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43169) - you deserved it (4516)

On 06/05/2014 at 4:11am - work - by unashamed - Australia (Queensland)

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

#21161740
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46473) - you deserved it (4348)

On 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm - misc - by mdsfkljsfsdrewr (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML

#21159437
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49157) - you deserved it (5182)

On 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm - misc - by shart up, your puns suck (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

#21158688
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48806) - you deserved it (5404)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

#21158187
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44412) - you deserved it (3816)

On 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm - health - by half-dead in CA (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45275) - you deserved it (8486)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

#21151390
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49277) - you deserved it (9652)

On 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm - intimacy - by whoops (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, trying to be nice, I added this really shy kid from my English class on Facebook. Within minutes, he started going through all my pictures and tagging himself as my breasts. FML

#21142867
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48018) - you deserved it (9325)

On 05/17/2014 at 12:54pm - misc - by creepyyy (woman) - United States

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42317) - you deserved it (15825)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, a customer asked me how long our 6-inch sandwich was. FML

#21136526
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42915) - you deserved it (4606)

On 05/11/2014 at 10:46am - work - by Makeitdance - United States (California)

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

#21123743
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40236) - you deserved it (6745)

On 04/26/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by caught out - United Kingdom (London, City of)



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: