Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

rkdstp1995

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

rkdstp1995

31Fucked!

rkdstp1995rkdstp1995
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 23 December 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1653
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About rkdstp1995 : I like messages. 19, musician, canadian, casual gamer, grunge enthusiast, bookworm.

Pearl jam is my favourite band
American gods is my favourite book
Green mile is my favourite movie
Sioux city sarsaparilla is my favourite drink
Steak pie is my favourite food

November 10th just makes me wish I wasn't broke.

rkdstp1995's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 11:05pm<b>LPac5295</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 12:33am<b>capper44</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 5:23am<b>Urpoppy</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 11:04pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 7:26pm<b>OhYouMad</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 12:22am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 8:58pm<b>thatguy9996</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 7:30am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 6:21am<b>MrsJellyBean</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 10:43pm<b>emmarawr17</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 6:12pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 5:45pm<b>mcclifford</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 4:06pm<b>ShroomSalad</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 8:22pm<b>hi_im_ughlee</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 12:45pm<b>nightwalker52</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 10:05pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 3:41pm<b>breekittenmitten</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 12:50pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:04am<b>breekittenmitten</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 6:50pm<b>Anais457</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 11:06am<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 5:33am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 6:39am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 1:54am<b>littlepiglola</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 1:26am<b>fallenkilljoy</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 7:54pm<b>MrsHaxxo</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 6:24pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 4:46am<b>Kataclysm97</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 2:40pm<b>ILikeKoalas</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:03am<b>skymachine</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 7:31am<b>photogirl17</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 3:29am<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 5:50pm<b>latinablanca</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 4:36am<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 12:19am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 9:34pm

rkdstp1995's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of rkdstp1995's badges

rkdstp1995's favorite FMLs

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

#21318238
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34600) - you deserved it (4171)

On 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm - kids - by Lisa - United States (Missouri)

Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML

#21296872
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53206) - you deserved it (6087)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43689) - you deserved it (13255)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31294) - you deserved it (26142)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43065) - you deserved it (13788)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46251) - you deserved it (6046)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm at that age where sitting down carries a 50/50 chance of turning my balls into scrambled eggs, a fact confirmed yet again today. Third time this week. I think it's time to switch to briefs. FML

#21259403
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28938) - you deserved it (4284)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:20pm - health - by I need a new ballsack. (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40462) - you deserved it (15557)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46349) - you deserved it (8210)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I awoke, the sun was shining, the birds were tweeting, and police sirens were wailing at a drug bust next door. FML

#21234535
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41629) - you deserved it (3606)

On 08/11/2014 at 1:11am - misc - by Ithoughtheywerenormalpeople (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43923) - you deserved it (6675)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45999) - you deserved it (3767)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

#21203004
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43668) - you deserved it (5355)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm - animals - by Jack00412 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

#21174074
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47804) - you deserved it (6822)

On 06/14/2014 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: