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rilatos

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rilatos
  • Town/Country : Wasilla, Alaska
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 312
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About rilatos : High school football at Wasilla, Alaska. All-State Running Back Junior year going for it again as a senior. Headed off for college football at Linfield, Oregon after this school year.

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rilatos's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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rilatos's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100436) - you deserved it (4279)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

#2349846
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56356) - you deserved it (7233)

On 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. Well while in the movie theater I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said "You're so funny I'm so glad we're friends". FML

#1927790
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52060) - you deserved it (4563)

On 05/14/2009 at 11:22am - love - by heartbreakkid21 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend when we started messing around. Things were getting really hot when he gets a call from his best friend whose grandfather had just died. As they were talking and I heard her crying, he unzips his pants and mouths, "She won't know." FML

#1404603
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60168) - you deserved it (6323)

On 04/27/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (329025) - you deserved it (35701)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML

#796639
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94098) - you deserved it (7446)

On 04/04/2009 at 4:50am - misc - by vetapplez (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML

#711978
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98170) - you deserved it (4997)

On 03/30/2009 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, whilst working at Subway, I took an order for 6 footlongs. The entire process took 15 minutes due to the customer's hesitant and glacial pace. When it came to paying, he pulled out his wallet, looked inside, looked at me, and walked quickly out of the store. FML

#699285
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79198) - you deserved it (3868)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:16am - work - by matte (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

#632473
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (151392) - you deserved it (25345)

On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131497) - you deserved it (35673)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML

#339773
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107011) - you deserved it (6592)

On 03/15/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by Alexa23 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML

#266591
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97028) - you deserved it (8541)

On 03/10/2009 at 10:53pm - intimacy - by petpeeeve (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML

#259526
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91259) - you deserved it (5290)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:55am - work - by SalonGirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, stilettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. I'm grounded. FML

#170978
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40283) - you deserved it (132832)

On 03/01/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by thissucks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while shopping for a pair of shoes, I saw a pair I really liked lying around, so I sat down to try them on. Then, a man came up to me and pointed out that they were actually his shoes. FML

#407
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16378) - you deserved it (4381)

On 11/28/2008 at 5:28am - misc - by Gregory - Sent from mobile version



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