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Offline (the 01/06/2015 at 7:32pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1830
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About rilatos : High school football at Wasilla, Alaska. All-State Running Back Junior year going for it again as a senior. Headed off for college football at Linfield, Oregon after this school year.

rilatos's page activity

Visits<b>inn0centaphid</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 11:50pm<b>datuglykorean</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 4:10pm<b>Deerohdahshet</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 9:38pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 4:10pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 1:13pm<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 5:50am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 5:40pm<b>CaptTeemo</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 4:03pm<b>tylerg</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 3:50pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 6:54pm<b>luckyone365</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 3:10pm<b>thehairypenis</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 2:16pm<b>Neandertal</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 12:12pm<b>AngelLovesDerby</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 8:07am<b>Carrotop12</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 6:13am<b>Quiet_one</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 5:13pm<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 8:11pm<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 8:01pm

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rilatos's favorite FMLs

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

by catherineratley / 05/06/2012 at 12:09am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

by doggone / 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

by authorsubmit / 05/04/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Health

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML

by f*ck / 05/02/2012 at 12:22pm / United States / Love

Today, I realized I have more in common with a cantaloupe than I do with my boyfriend. FML

by muddled / 05/02/2012 at 2:16am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML

by karmafails / 05/01/2012 at 12:17pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Health

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

by ShadowJack / 04/29/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

by lindsaykay / 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

by purple / 03/24/2012 at 1:30am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

by Notadrinkanddriveidiot / 12/07/2011 at 9:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML

by kdeeeceee / 11/09/2011 at 12:59am / United States / Love

Today, I pulled a muscle. Not in any kind of sport or exercise, but while reaching for my computer mouse. FML

by ThisGuy97 / 08/12/2011 at 4:46pm / United States / Health

Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML

by JohnyP / 07/09/2011 at 3:04am / United States (Ohio) / Transportation