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rilatos

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rilatos
  • Town/Country : Wasilla, Alaska
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 311
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About rilatos : High school football at Wasilla, Alaska. All-State Running Back Junior year going for it again as a senior. Headed off for college football at Linfield, Oregon after this school year.

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rilatos's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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rilatos's favorite FMLs

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

#20523889
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24599) - you deserved it (3376)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31285) - you deserved it (6288)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML

#20170920
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18714) - you deserved it (2077)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after therapy for obsessing over every woman who talks to me, all I could think about was how I could seduce my therapist. I think I still need a lot of help. FML

#20133155
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18815) - you deserved it (4875)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by mental - United States

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13816) - you deserved it (37118)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was swimming with my friends at the local pool. My friend pushed me under, and as I came up for air, my hand stroked a hairy leg. It turns out I had caressed the leg of an old man who had been swimming laps. He spent the next half hour creepily smiling at me. FML

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

#19928978
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31152) - you deserved it (2626)

On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML

#19644251
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19601) - you deserved it (4283)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML

#19641486
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18498) - you deserved it (4358)

On 05/18/2012 at 11:05am - love - by Great. (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML

#19620502
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16472) - you deserved it (1821)

On 05/14/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

#19619815
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25541) - you deserved it (2405)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:14pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML

#19609877
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9488) - you deserved it (53699)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Hunter101 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML

#19607657
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19420) - you deserved it (2673)

On 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

#19606194
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4800) - you deserved it (18703)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:33am - misc - by anamota89 (woman) - United States

Today, I accidentally kicked a can and it hit a man's shoe. He tried to kick it at me but his foot somehow failed to connect with the can. I could hear it rattling behind me as he failed again and again. So he decided to run up behind me and throw it at my head. FML

#19586621
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17589) - you deserved it (4575)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:08am - misc - by thepigeonsfriend (woman) - United Kingdom



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