rilatos

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Offline (the 01/06/2015 at 7:32pm)

rilatos

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1899
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About rilatos : High school football at Wasilla, Alaska. All-State Running Back Junior year going for it again as a senior. Headed off for college football at Linfield, Oregon after this school year.

rilatos's page activity

Visits<b>inn0centaphid</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 11:50pm<b>datuglykorean</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 4:10pm<b>Deerohdahshet</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 9:38pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 4:10pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 1:13pm<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 5:50am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 5:40pm<b>CaptTeemo</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 4:03pm<b>tylerg</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 3:50pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 6:54pm<b>luckyone365</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 3:10pm<b>thehairypenis</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 2:16pm<b>Neandertal</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 12:12pm<b>AngelLovesDerby</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 8:07am<b>Carrotop12</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 6:13am<b>Quiet_one</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 5:13pm<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 8:11pm<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 8:01pm

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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rilatos's favorite FMLs

Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2013 at 3:56pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I realized I can't wait until my daughter moves out the house when she is 18. She is eight. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 1:51am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

by Agax / 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

by -____- / 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

by hoo flung pu / 10/03/2013 at 4:26am / United States / Animals

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 6:30am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad asked me to stop calling him "dad" because it’s too weird for his girlfriend’s kids to hear, because they call him dad. FML

by meens42 / 09/30/2013 at 4:04am / United States / Kids

Today, one of my regular customers asked when we were getting married. I told him as much as I would love that, I didn't think my boyfriend would be very happy. He called me a "stuck up b*tch" and informed me he only comes to my line because he can always see through my shirt. He is 72. And married. FML

by peejay6831 / 09/23/2013 at 2:27am / United States / Work

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2013 at 6:52am / United States / Kids

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

by JacksWag4 / 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML

by lonely girl / 07/02/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML

by thatonesilentkidinclass / 05/04/2013 at 4:11am / Philippines (Batangas) / Health

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

by sarajj / 03/29/2013 at 5:36pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML

by me / 03/21/2013 at 6:25am / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Miscellaneous