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rickster1000

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rickster1000

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rickster1000's favorite FMLs

TODAY, I HIT A NEW LOW POINT IN MAH LIFE WHEN I STOLE BATTERIES FROM A TOY AT THE DAYCARE I WORK AT, AN PUTTD THEM IN MAH VIBRATOR !! FML

#21286701
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26327) - you deserved it (34471)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Yesterday, I stumbled across one of mah son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets r technically ( whores ) because they hook up with countless cords fir a ( charge. ) I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32745) - you deserved it (4573)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into yur mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanid by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be yur mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I ned brain bleach. FML

#21285126
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35167) - you deserved it (7801)

On 10/25/2014 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was waiting at a traffic light next to an ice cream van. The man in it turned to me and winked, making sexual hand gestures. I felt my childhood die horribly as I watched. FML

#21284616
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33118) - you deserved it (2431)

On 10/24/2014 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I witnessd some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. ( Goddamn negger ), I mutterd. ( The fuck did u just say?! ) yelld a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31502) - you deserved it (14495)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made looool up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today , as a limo driver , I had to drive 8 guys 4 a night-out from there wives. I put the Michigan/Rutgers game on the radio , thinking they would appreciate that. Apparently , they wanted to listen to there "pump-up" songs instead , which were mostly Katy Perry songs. FML

#21271972
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36822) - you deserved it (4702)

On 10/06/2014 at 11:05am - work - by theseguysarewhipped... - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, ( What's that? ) fat FML

#21271608
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39903) - you deserved it (16410)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Yesterday the guy I really like acknowledged my existence 4 the first time . Too bad it was through a text saying "lol ur a fat fukc" . FML

#21271187
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35148) - you deserved it (3475)

On 10/05/2014 at 12:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

TODAY... I GOT ON ONE KNEE IN FRONT OF MY GIRLFRIEND. I PULLED OUT THE RING... UTTERED THE WORDS ( LISA... WILL YOU... ) THEN ABRUPTLY SHAT MY PANTS.

#21271177
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42731) - you deserved it (5151)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I confiscatd a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I looool could come close to affording. FML

#21256659
154 comments

Today, mah boyfriend calld me in teres, convincd that he found me in a porn video online!! It wasn't me!! And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too startd crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am!! FML

#21243572
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49500) - you deserved it (4359)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by confidence taken - United States (Mississippi)

I finally told mah dad that I hate his girlfriend . I said her daughter's a completehore , and her son is annoying as fuck . Turns out they were in the house and within earshot , ready to throw me a birthday party . FML

#21243310
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24915) - you deserved it (45070)

On 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Yesterday... I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back fir fun... an someone took the invitation. Unfortunately... my friend whirled around an beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back... but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

#21243070
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19911) - you deserved it (46216)

On 08/22/2014 at 10:35am - misc - by oops (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

TODAY, ON MY FRST DAY AT AS A POTO EDITOR AT A PRINT STORE, I AD TO SPEND OVER AN OUR EDITING A FULL SOOT OF A FAT MAN EATING A BAGUETTE IN A BATTUB, CLOSEUPS INCLUDED. FML

#21242471
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35645) - you deserved it (3435)

On 08/21/2014 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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