ribbons

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Offline (the 05/20/2015 at 12:41pm)

ribbons

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 May 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2878
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About ribbons : FML moderation: procrastination fodder for ever - and all time!

I make a face like my avatar *every* time someone doesn't capitalize proper nouns or use apostrophes in an otherwise hilarious submission. STOP BREAKING MY HEART!

ribbons's page activity

Visits<b>buckstop1</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 8:01am<b>JustShootMeFML</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 1:40am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 3:04am<b>Coachjoost79</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 2:07pm<b>ThomasBombadil</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 8:43pm<b>Chokobolt</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 3:58pm<b>turtles4life</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 3:51pm<b>Owlfarm612</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 8:58pm<b>obsolol</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 4:44am<b>JokerJim2013</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 3:20pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 2:06pm<b>RubbarDuckie</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 7:42am<b>Kidkaplan</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 8:26pm<b>birdierising</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 5:27pm<b>ohjoy15</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 8:59pm<b>DarkJediLove</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 10:08am<b>LittlestPrincess</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 7:00am<b>crimsonlover4</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 5:54pm

ribbons's FML badges

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of ribbons's badges

ribbons's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2014 at 1:57am / Canada / Kids

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

by Taylor / 04/21/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, I had to show a new student around my school. Normally, that wouldn't be such a bad thing, but the student was my crazy, overly-attached ex. I transferred schools to get away from her in the first place. FML

by not_this_shit_again / 04/09/2014 at 8:37am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that most teenagers would rather grab free candy from the broken vending machine than help the guy stuck underneath it get free. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2014 at 12:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my unemployed husband has his own web-comic, that he makes money off it, and that it mainly involves the main character's airhead, money-grubbing wife ruining his life. She looks strikingly like me and shares my name. FML

by cumbucket cops / 03/16/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

by rolypoly / 03/05/2014 at 7:33am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML

by DIY560 / 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

by hot sweet.... not / 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Kids

Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

by BakedBat / 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

by unloved cat owner / 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I jack off "real weird." FML

by jack s.b. / 11/14/2013 at 5:15pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

by butnotlikethat / 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm / China (Jiangxi) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML

by thegirlofthedad / 01/29/2013 at 4:48am / India (Maharashtra) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work