reneetlovesyou

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Offline (the 04/20/2016 at 7:42pm)

reneetlovesyou

42Fucked!

reneetlovesyoureneetlovesyou
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4964
  • Number of comments : 144
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About reneetlovesyou : There's not much to say. I'm pretty much trash.

reneetlovesyou's page activity

Visits<b>rivimatt</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 9:41am<b>angrykid11</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 6:42am<b>dominguez89</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 3:13am<b>MaxTheNeko</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 3:29pm<b>shabadabba</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 7:36pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 5:34pm<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 8:49am<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 7:16am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 11:20am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 10:13pm<b>enoeht</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 3:45pm<b>blackinsomnia</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 9:03pm<b>Technastar</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 4:22pm<b>guskta</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 12:42pm<b>fml_Rambo</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 7:21pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 9:25am<b>jaythompson2422</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 7:38am<b>Tenker</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 11:06pm

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 5:20pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 4:13am<b>Technastar</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 10:22pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 3:25pm<b>Tenker</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:06am<b>mehibud</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 10:08pm<b>FFStepchild283</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 2:38pm<b>worldfamous00</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 12:25pm<b>Codezlol</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 10:19pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 5:50pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 2:31am<b>skobisco</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 3:08am<b>enginsteve</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 10:39am<b>Hildy93</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 7:03am<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 3:37am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 3:33pm<b>keiNan</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 8:43am<b>paravoz</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 8:07am

reneetlovesyou's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of reneetlovesyou's badges

reneetlovesyou's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML

by mypelvishurts / 02/23/2013 at 2:32am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML

by shelbylove115 / 02/22/2013 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2013 at 3:35am / Intimacy

Today, I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attacks that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic, and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what, one of us is always shaking uncontrollably. FML

by Chuffberry / 02/16/2013 at 3:47am / United States (Colorado) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

by Acolyte of the Bacon God / 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

by airbiscuit / 01/21/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

by black and yellow / 01/21/2013 at 1:32am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

by WTF / 01/16/2013 at 2:52am / Miscellaneous

Today, I unknowingly used my shampoo thinking it was leave-in-conditioner. While walking to work, it started to rain. I started to produce suds. FML

by nomegusta / 01/05/2013 at 10:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML

by Weirdo / 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML

by fatbabysyndrome / 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids