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reneetlovesyou

Offline (the 02/08/2015 at 6:29am) | Search for a member

reneetlovesyou

17Liked!

reneetlovesyoureneetlovesyou
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2743
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About reneetlovesyou : There's not much to say. I'm like 10% female, 50% awkward, 50% sass, and 100% bad at math.

reneetlovesyou's page activity

Visits<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 9:14am<b>Kn0wledge123</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 7:47am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 5:18pm<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 5:44am<b>Awsemogreeb</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 7:56pm<b>enter______name</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:04am<b>Jae_Hellyun</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 10:00pm<b>ValVee92</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 7:53am<b>dearest_gerr</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 3:19pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 10:08pm<b>hardesty</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 9:58pm<b>Risea</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 9:26pm<b>thecman25</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 5:50pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:17am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 4:30pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 10:25am<b>Codezlol</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 10:26pm<b>CandienInEurope</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 11:34am

Liked!<b>Kn0wledge123</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 1:47pm<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 3:59am<b>sam9697</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 6:34pm<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 4:55am<b>Murkyy</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 7:20pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 9:38pm<b>pratikp03</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 1:01am<b>NebulaNick</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 5:33pm<b>Hertyn</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 11:28am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 2:13am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 1:08am<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:10pm<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 6:12am<b>jelenac</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 8:30pm<b>DXWarrior00</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 2:09pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 10:55pm

reneetlovesyou's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of reneetlovesyou's badges

reneetlovesyou's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

#20833743
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28456) - you deserved it (39803)

On 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm - work - by master baiter - United States (New York)

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

#20830594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42195) - you deserved it (4899)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59436) - you deserved it (5435)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I ran into my shitlord of an ex at the store. He took one look at me, yelled "You cheating bitch!" in a wounded voice, then walked away, fake-crying. I got so many dirty looks. The worst part is that I dumped him last month for cheating on me with my "best friend." FML

#20827624
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50234) - you deserved it (3346)

On 08/08/2013 at 5:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

#20826932
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56624) - you deserved it (15956)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Latvia (Jelgavas)

Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML

#20825918
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45574) - you deserved it (3630)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by hardee fucking har yourself, sir (man) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I was feeling down because I always think that I'm overweight. My boyfriend tried to prove me wrong by lifting me up. I threw his back out. FML

#20823726
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46755) - you deserved it (9216)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:01pm - health - by GirlfriendsAreBadForYourBack - United States (New York)

Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML

#20817414
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44348) - you deserved it (3972)

On 08/02/2013 at 5:54pm - kids - by ulisha5 (woman) - Bulgaria (Burgas)

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56923) - you deserved it (5528)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

#20816805
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60237) - you deserved it (7635)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:08am - intimacy - by right (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend began to stroke my nose. "You can pick your girlfriend, but you can't pick your girlfriend's nose," I said playfully. In response, he shouted "Yes, I can!" before painfully jamming his pinky up my left nostril. FML

#20789918
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39143) - you deserved it (13729)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:41am - misc - by booger (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44380) - you deserved it (32451) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55149) - you deserved it (7763)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML

#20763424
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38142) - you deserved it (4507)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58986) - you deserved it (10872)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States



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