Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

reneetlovesyou

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

reneetlovesyou

21Fucked!

reneetlovesyoureneetlovesyou
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3891
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About reneetlovesyou : There's not much to say. I'm pretty much trash.

reneetlovesyou's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 12:06pm<b>Rodax034</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 2:15am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:00pm<b>BantasaurusRex</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 7:50pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 4:39pm<b>Redoxx</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 11:02pm<b>subhaan786</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 6:10am<b>91hayek</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 3:03am<b>Skarlun</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 7:51am<b>DXWarrior00</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 4:37pm<b>patts_</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 2:24pm<b>mrainesm</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 10:30pm<b>cabub007</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 3:47pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 3:36pm<b>ThatOneGuy719</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 11:44pm<b>wratty11</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 4:49am<b>TheElBurrrito</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 8:57am<b>DrummerWS</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:29pm

Fucked!<b>Rodax034</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 8:15am<b>BantasaurusRex</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 1:50am<b>Skarlun</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 1:52pm<b>DrummerWS</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 2:29am<b>Kn0wledge123</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 1:47pm<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 3:59am<b>sam9697</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 6:34pm<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 4:55am<b>Murkyy</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 7:20pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 9:38pm<b>pratikp03</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 1:01am<b>NebulaNick</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 5:33pm<b>Hertyn</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 11:28am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 2:13am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 1:08am<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:10pm<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 6:12am<b>jelenac</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 8:30pm

reneetlovesyou's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of reneetlovesyou's badges

reneetlovesyou's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

#20908628
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50549) - you deserved it (6824)

On 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by -____- (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML

#20907968
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46488) - you deserved it (3308)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by CelibateHero (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

#20906275
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37065) - you deserved it (30880)

On 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Kyra.45 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized how bad my insomnia had got when I tried answering my water bottle when my alarm went off. FML

#20901491
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37006) - you deserved it (3006)

On 09/30/2013 at 1:01am - health - by Overworked - United States

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51406) - you deserved it (6694)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

#20894419
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53072) - you deserved it (5081)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm - intimacy - by Craigslist is Evil. - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

#20889434
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53681) - you deserved it (35975)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I bumped into a really cute guy I know. I stuttered and floundered, before saying, "Hi, it's me, Megan Thomas." My surname isn't Thomas, but his is. FML

#20888741
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49288) - you deserved it (8842)

On 09/20/2013 at 7:23am - love - by hoolagirl4422 (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

#20883308
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54072) - you deserved it (4960)

On 09/16/2013 at 12:35am - health - by chestycough - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52545) - you deserved it (11427)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

#20856377
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50379) - you deserved it (8344) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2013 at 6:32am - kids - by Poly24 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing sports injuries, and I mentioned that I pulled a muscle in my crotch last year. He snorted and called me a clueless idiot because according to him, "girls don't have crotches". He's a med student. I sense malpractice lawsuits in our future. FML

#20850902
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43788) - you deserved it (3447)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:21pm - misc - by fucking financial ruin (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

#20849713
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42960) - you deserved it (13827)

On 08/22/2013 at 6:45pm - animals - by violated ._. (woman) - United States

Today, I was told that I looked like a Kardashian by a total stranger. Flattered, I asked which one. His response? "I don't know, the ugly one." FML

#20848594
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42646) - you deserved it (5489)

On 08/21/2013 at 11:00pm - misc - by theuglyone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

#20846728
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48368) - you deserved it (11636)

On 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: