About reneetlovesyou : There's not much to say. I'm pretty much trash.
reneetlovesyou's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
reneetlovesyou's favorite FMLs
by honeybunny90 / 12/28/2013 at 3:23am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML
by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by zamwow / 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/01/2013 at 1:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML
by crixon42 / 11/18/2013 at 6:39pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by f / 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by thank god you'll only live once / 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML
by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work
by SantaClaus / 11/02/2013 at 12:19am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML
by GymBattle / 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/28/2013 at 6:39pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 10:04am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/21/2013 at 5:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML
by SaveMeTeddy / 10/16/2013 at 2:48pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, my university fridge is so small that the cucumber I bought doesn’t fit either lengthwise or… Today, I was an extra in a movie and I had to play a corpse. At the make up stand, they painted my…