Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

reneetlovesyou

Offline (the 04/11/2015 at 3:46am) | Search for a member

reneetlovesyou

17Fucked!

reneetlovesyoureneetlovesyou
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3203
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About reneetlovesyou : There's not much to say. I'm like 10% female, 50% awkward, 50% sass, and 100% bad at math.

reneetlovesyou's page activity

Visits<b>sdroze1389</b> - 8 minutes ago<b>Jae_Hellyun</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:39pm<b>darrend1196</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:39pm<b>Hidebehindarock</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 4:59pm<b>ricardof</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 8:57pm<b>losersanonymous</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 1:05am<b>mrainesm</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:03pm<b>TheDvsOne</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:40pm<b>wildbill248</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 12:02am<b>emotionalhentai</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 2:15pm<b>CoolFootSnook</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 10:43pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 1:43pm<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 9:14am<b>Kn0wledge123</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 7:47am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 5:18pm<b>Awsemogreeb</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 7:56pm<b>enter______name</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:04am<b>ValVee92</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 7:53am

Fucked!<b>Kn0wledge123</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 1:47pm<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 3:59am<b>sam9697</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 6:34pm<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 4:55am<b>Murkyy</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 7:20pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 9:38pm<b>pratikp03</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 1:01am<b>NebulaNick</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 5:33pm<b>Hertyn</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 11:28am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 2:13am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 1:08am<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:10pm<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 6:12am<b>jelenac</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 8:30pm<b>DXWarrior00</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 2:09pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 10:55pm

reneetlovesyou's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of reneetlovesyou's badges

reneetlovesyou's favorite FMLs

Today, I was breast feeding my son. Out of nowhere, he bit my nipple hard, causing me to scream in pain. He giggled with my nipple still between his teeth. FML

Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML

#21054738
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54713) - you deserved it (6226)

On 02/08/2014 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by O_o - United States (California)

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

#21046394
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43360) - you deserved it (8243)

On 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58528) - you deserved it (9412)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45924) - you deserved it (4944)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46092) - you deserved it (3640)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44503) - you deserved it (5339)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49152) - you deserved it (6472)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

#20999459
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53526) - you deserved it (7958)

On 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by zamwow (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I reduced my psychologist to tears. FML

#20976567
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42161) - you deserved it (3933)

On 12/01/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

#20951750
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65187) - you deserved it (4833)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm - intimacy - by f (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45597) - you deserved it (3457)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44437) - you deserved it (5392)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: