About reneetlovesyou : There's not much to say. I'm pretty much trash.
reneetlovesyou's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
reneetlovesyou's favorite FMLs
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
by sad_dad / 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML
by Anonymous / 10/23/2009 at 1:22am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/22/2009 at 8:15pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML
by Ignitingmylightsaber / 10/18/2009 at 7:29am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by 310 / 10/09/2009 at 2:42am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by lovebigmacs / 10/06/2009 at 7:32pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend was getting up to leave and I, trying to be romantic, got up behind her and tried to swing her back down onto the bed and kiss her simultaneously, misjudged the distance and threw her into the wall, her head then bounced off the wall and into my forehead, spraining her nose. FML
by dontpanic / 09/21/2009 at 3:08pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML
by nipped / 09/16/2009 at 9:24am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML
by flexibleflatulance / 09/04/2009 at 11:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML
by NotThatKind / 08/24/2009 at 12:28am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML
by klutz / 08/10/2009 at 10:34am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by daddysboy123 / 08/06/2009 at 11:40am / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Animals
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…