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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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reginal's favorite FMLs
Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML
by Kallian / 01/16/2013 at 6:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/12/2012 at 2:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by LonelyShowers / 07/04/2012 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Love
Today, a police officer came to talk to the kids at my workplace. He asked what they wanted to hear about first. A group of them shouted, "The donuts, tells us about the donuts." Apparently these idiots are the future of my country. FML
by Joseph N / 06/19/2012 at 12:08pm / United States / Kids
by girly girly / 05/26/2012 at 10:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML
by Anonymous / 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
by mrs.nerd / 10/23/2011 at 8:38am / United States / Love
Today, I was at a tennis match and it was really hot. I took off my shirt to cool down. A member of the staff then tapped me on the shoulder and told me that my "bare breasts might offend someone." I'm a man. FML
by bennyp77 / 08/31/2010 at 1:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by mannnnn2717 / 12/20/2009 at 5:41pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by GavinHosler / 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
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