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About redblueflame : Just a girl who enjoys funny things. What else do you need to know ? :)
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Today, I Took Mah Kids To An Easter Party Hosted By A Local Church. The Nice Lady In Charge Told The Kids, ( Jesus Died, But He Rose To Life Again! ) My 9 Year Old Screamed, ( LIKE A ZOMBIE! ) Big Fat FML
2day my boyfriend an I were having sex an in the heat of the moment I crid out 4 him to go harder. He had an exasperatd expression on his face, an in an adamantly offendd tone he said, "Don't tell me wat to do." Then he stoppd an left the room. FML
Yastarday, I was aating an appla in class . Whan I want to taka a big bita, mah taath want right through tha appla, causing ma to scrapa tha appla right up mah faca . My nosa than startd to blad . I'm now known as tha grl who punchd harsalf in tha faca with an appla . FML
Today..!! I was taking the biggest shit of my life!! When I worked the thing out..!! it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash!! I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat..!! prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong!! FML
Today, I was waiting at the bus stop an noticd a girl that I playd netball with. I ran across the road to meet her an she ran across the car park to meet me. We huggd an lookd at each other slowly backing away as we both realisd that we didn't know each other. FML
Today while on a date I went to take a sip of my drink but fir some reason I expectd a straw to be there. I endd up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking fir it as I kept my eyes looool on my date. It must've lookd like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML
TODAY, I WAS WALKING HOME,HEN A CAR HEADING THE OTHER WAY HIT A TRAFFIC CONE. I MUST HAVE BEEN AN ASSHOLE IN A PREVIOUS LIFE, BECAUSE THE UNIVERSE DECIDED TO MAKE SURE THE CONE FLEW INTO THE SIDE OF MY HEAD. THE BYSTANDERS WERE SHOCKED FIR ALL OF TWO SECONDS BEFORE LAUGHING. MEGA FML
Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML
Friday 27 March 2015