redblueflame

Search for a member

Offline (the 06/19/2016 at 5:02am)

redblueflame

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 July 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7111
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About redblueflame : Just a girl who enjoys funny things. What else do you need to know ? :)

redblueflame's page activity

Visits<b>Whiplash169</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 10:24am<b>Xxbeardsley</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 1:28am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 9:14pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 6:17am<b>draftskink</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 1:40am<b>Markovski</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 2:01am<b>Scarface408</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:01pm<b>ricardof</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 9:57am<b>marko1596</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 7:00pm<b>hellopenny</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:23pm<b>kiante99</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 5:19pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 12:27am<b>maxyutd</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 2:22am<b>Epiccake</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 7:06pm<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 11:02pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 12:54pm<b>GripItRight</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:12pm<b>cokeman666</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 7:03am

Fucked!<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 6:27am

redblueflame's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of redblueflame's badges

redblueflame's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm / Norway (Nordland) / Work

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML

by hold your horses pony boy / 04/18/2014 at 2:24pm / United States / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

by belljars / 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

by Nose bleed / 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend's little brother challenged me to a water gun fight. I accepted, not knowing he was going to fill his gun with vinegar, then shoot me in the eyes with it. FML

by BeatByA9yrold / 04/12/2014 at 3:59pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

by traumatized / 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it would be funny to smack my daughter's head gently with a balloon. It hit her hair clip and exploded. She won't stop crying, and my wife will be home any minute. I'm screwed. FML

by and not even in the good way / 03/30/2014 at 4:36pm / United States / Kids

Today, it was my first ever live piano performance. It went all great until the end, when I stood up, slipped, and smashed face-first into the keys. I've lost half a tooth and all my dignity. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2014 at 2:45pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Health

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a music duet in front of a crowd and 3 judges. I play tuba and my partner plays the saxophone. He burst out laughing in the middle of it because one note that I played sounded like a fart. FML

by some band player / 03/09/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

by cunning glassist / 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I went to the arcade with my dad, and we decided to try out the hurricane simulator, which blasts 60mph air around in an enclosed space. My dad farted halfway through. FML

by begging for air / 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous