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redblueflame

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redblueflame
  • Town/Country : Tampa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 July 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1170
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About redblueflame : Just a girl who enjoys funny things. What else do you need to know ? :)

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redblueflame's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

#21017330
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44855) - you deserved it (11662)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

#21016986
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53044) - you deserved it (5400)

On 01/04/2014 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML

#21016206
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41400) - you deserved it (18878)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I wrote a text to the guy I've had a crush on for two years. I typed "hey" and put my phone down, not ready to send it. A little while later, I heard it buzz. The reply said "Um... what?" Apparently my sister had added "I'm a shitty prostitute" to my text and sent it. FML

#21016150
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42365) - you deserved it (7075)

On 01/04/2014 at 12:25am - love - by ... - United States

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

#21015691
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57247) - you deserved it (6633)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by notsohandy (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I woke up to every window in my house packed with snow. It was so bad that I thought I'd been snowed-in, and I started freaking out. It took two hours and multiple phone calls before I found out that my neighbor had taken our prank war too seriously and staged the whole thing. FML

#21015630
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35850) - you deserved it (11636)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by thanks.... (man) - United States

Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML

#21014374
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41201) - you deserved it (4435)

On 01/02/2014 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I asked my mom why she had two tooth brushes: one manual and one electric. She said: "I only use the manual one for brushing my teeth." FML

#21013669
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41537) - you deserved it (5817)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Vincent - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. My wife got pissed when I didn't immediately check on her, but rather the other driver. That other driver was my daughter. FML

#21012945
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51540) - you deserved it (4133)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:21pm - love - by Crashed - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML

#21012912
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35262) - you deserved it (7807)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my 11 month-old son started viciously biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into. He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go. FML

#21012312
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34588) - you deserved it (5124)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:38am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, instead of spending New Year's Eve having a romantic night out with my fiancé as we'd planned, I'm spending it sitting beside him in the hospital because his friends convinced him to go off-road ghost-riding in the dead of night. FML

#21011862
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35960) - you deserved it (3271)

On 12/31/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my 12-year-old daughter glued her left eyelid shut with fake eyelash glue. After spending 4 hours in the ER, I asked her why she did it. "I wanted to get Blake to notice me," she said. Blake is our neighbor's convict son. FML

Today, I took my girlfriend to see "Frozen," which she had been talking about for weeks. After I bought the snacks, she told me that she couldn't believe I was going to watch a princess movie and walked out on me for not being "manly." She took the popcorn with her. FML

#21009271
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46484) - you deserved it (3621)

On 12/29/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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