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randomgalzbo

Offline (the 01/05/2016 at 4:53am) | Search for a member

randomgalzbo

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 757
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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randomgalzbo's page activity

Visits<b>steffi85</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 10:52pm<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 6:59pm<b>fuck17</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 11:33pm<b>vinylscratchp0n3</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 2:33pm<b>CarolineCat17</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 5:29pm<b>amanduck99</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 1:31pm<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 5:45am<b>datfacedoe</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 4:59am<b>girlrome</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 12:51am

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randomgalzbo's favorite FMLs

Today, I found the engagement ring I'd bought and been missing for a week. On my girlfriend's hand. While my childhood friend was inside her. They apparently like pretending she's married while doing this. They made this self-discovery a week ago. Good for them. I don't want the ring back. FML

Today, I complained about period cramps. My boyfriend said periods can't be that bad since "girls must orgasm every time they put a tampon in." FML

#21505128
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24239) - you deserved it (2024)

On 12/18/2015 at 11:37am - love - by periods (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML

#21491812
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26139) - you deserved it (3587)

On 11/12/2015 at 7:00pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, cops showed up at my house looking for an ex neighbor. It would be all cool if before knocking they didn't politely wait in front of my window listening me and my boyfriend having sex for half an hour. FML

#21418507
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32230) - you deserved it (3221)

On 05/31/2015 at 10:19am - intimacy - by bonsai_girl - Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska)

Today, I got a new haircut. I was feeling pretty confident, until coworkers and family members kept making comments like, "I think you gained a little weight", "You look older" and "Do you still like guys?" Apparently, my new haircut changed my waist size and my sexual orientation. FML

#21371884
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29522) - you deserved it (3043)

On 03/10/2015 at 2:47pm - misc - by Lovemynewhaircut (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother confused the terms 'necromancy' and 'necrophilia'. We had a great talk about why you shouldn't have sex with dead people. FML

#21364935
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27554) - you deserved it (2592)

On 02/27/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by bobjope -

Today, as a reward for finishing all my work in maths, I was told I could leave early. Apparently, later on, the class had a random attendance inspection. I didn't know about this until I received a detention for not being present at that class. My teacher had completely forgotten about me. FML

Today, I'm here to inform men that, "If I fucked you, I wouldn't pull out" is not an effective pick up line. Ever. Especially on a coworker. FML

#21349737
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36597) - you deserved it (5938)

On 02/04/2015 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by No thank you (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my parents continue comparing me to my "perfect" friend. He smokes dope, is a compulsive thief, and has gone to juvie numerous times. I'm passing school with flying colors and have never been in any trouble with the law. Apparently I should be more like him. FML

#21346172
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30270) - you deserved it (2273)

On 01/29/2015 at 12:01pm - misc - by John Doe (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. The guy who picked up sounded drunk, told me to fuck off, and hung up. FML

Today, I made a joke that my boyfriend was going to end up sending me into premature labor. Later, I went into labor for real. My boyfriend thought I was faking and refused to take me to the hospital. FML

#21342125
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33257) - you deserved it (8133)

On 01/22/2015 at 6:32am - health - by unsuspectingmom - United States (Michigan)

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

#21342067
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36683) - you deserved it (5323)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

#21312768
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43211) - you deserved it (2716)

On 12/06/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML

#21285821
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38869) - you deserved it (4254)

On 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm - love - by mellielynnemily - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43062) - you deserved it (13788)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)



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