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raesos91

Offline (the 02/16/2014 at 1:15am) | Search for a member

raesos91

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 December 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1099
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About raesos91 : married. led zep. pink floyd. mars volta. simpsons. bobs burgers. law & order. ff7. ff tactics. bioshock. ( . Y . ) & boobies. •to be a rock, & not a roll•

raesos91's page activity

Visits<b>cadillacgal79</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 7:21pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 11:43am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 11:46am<b>frozenlover218</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 4:28pm<b>Live4funny</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 4:33pm<b>Feldgrep</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:58pm<b>ScottVining</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 10:34pm<b>nojusttno</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 12:23am<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 11:32am<b>albinoturk</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 4:26am<b>koolkool994</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 5:42am<b>Supersonic54</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 9:25am<b>adam97</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 7:51am<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 7:59pm<b>CAMAR0kid93</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 1:46am<b>xDochx</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 6:33pm<b>Porcei</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 5:58pm<b>Eire17</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 11:53pm

raesos91's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of raesos91's badges

raesos91's favorite FMLs

Today, I was formally diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive tendencies. My mom saw this as an excuse to make me clean the whole house top to bottom, because "Hey, you love to clean." FML

#20855277
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42739) - you deserved it (3439)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by ocdistheworst (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57375) - you deserved it (6799)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

#20492744
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27780) - you deserved it (3206)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26901) - you deserved it (12713)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31714) - you deserved it (3245)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

#20466782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28015) - you deserved it (14549)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29784) - you deserved it (3251)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22265) - you deserved it (8229)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49470) - you deserved it (6256)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

#20160628
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39037) - you deserved it (2722)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

#20154996
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17291) - you deserved it (28163)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by shit.... (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

#20141794
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24567) - you deserved it (3523)

On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24333) - you deserved it (4228)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

#20137874
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18627) - you deserved it (3620)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by Medic - United States (Washington)

Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML

#20123366
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8404) - you deserved it (23093)

On 10/19/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by ktreens (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)



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