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Offline (the 03/11/2015 at 1:42am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 June 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1105
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About r70093 : ??

r70093's page activity

Visits<b>xXxGraveStonexXx</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 12:28am<b>americanafrican</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 4:29pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 3:53pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 3:51pm<b>sweetybaybeC</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 9:43pm<b>skellingtonfart</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 7:02am<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 2:24am<b>sillytiger91</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 6:10pm<b>olpally</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 9:01pm<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 11:57pm<b>TheBrochure</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 12:41am<b>Trollx</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 12:50am<b>ekb777</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 6:43pm

r70093's FML badges


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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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r70093's favorite FMLs

Today, my little sister randomly came up to me and said: "Aww, don't be sad. Even ugly people can get boyfriends." She then smiled, patted my back, and walked off. I wasn't actually sad before, but I am now. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2014 at 4:54pm / United Kingdom (Southend-on-Sea) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML

by fishtacos / 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML

by juggalomurderer59 / 11/12/2014 at 11:00am / United States / Health

Today, I've been one year sober. My health has improved a lot, unlike my social life, which has died a horrible, lonely death. FML

by not drunk / 10/28/2014 at 2:04pm / Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul) / Health

Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML

by Beeper / 10/11/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML

by SeriousJoker72 / 10/10/2014 at 9:17pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

by Waterfalls / 10/07/2014 at 7:33am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was asked to order a new lockable cash tin for work. When my boss returned to ask which one I'd selected, I said, "An 8-inch black one". Her giggle said it all. FML

by dicksonthebrain / 09/26/2014 at 9:03am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm / Spain (Comunidad Valenciana) / Animals

Today, I asked my mum when she gets the urge to smoke. The answer I was looking for was "after I eat" or maybe even "when I'm tired". What I got was "every second since you were born". FML

by BornToBeABurden / 01/09/2014 at 11:01am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

by prostitott / 05/04/2013 at 3:22am / Kids

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML

by a tad whipped / 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm / Australia / Money