- Town/Country : Not specified
- Title : Mister
- Birth Date : Wednesday 16 June 1993 (22 years old)
- <3 status : With someone
- Number of visits : 957
- Number of comments : 2
- Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted
About r70093 : ??
About r70093 : ??
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my little sister randomly came up to me and said: "Aww, don't be sad. Even ugly people can get boyfriends." She then smiled, patted my back, and walked off. I wasn't actually sad before, but I am now. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2014 at 4:54pm / United Kingdom (Southend-on-Sea) / Kids
by fishtacos / 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML
by juggalomurderer59 / 11/12/2014 at 11:00am / United States / Health
by not drunk / 10/28/2014 at 2:04pm / Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul) / Health
Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML
by Beeper / 10/11/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by SeriousJoker72 / 10/10/2014 at 9:17pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Health
Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML
by Waterfalls / 10/07/2014 at 7:33am / United States (California) / Health
by dicksonthebrain / 09/26/2014 at 9:03am / United Kingdom / Work
Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm / Spain (Comunidad Valenciana) / Animals
by BornToBeABurden / 01/09/2014 at 11:01am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML
by a tad whipped / 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm / Australia / Money