Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

qwerty5678

Offline (the 08/25/2014 at 3:03am) | Search for a member

qwerty5678

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 392
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

qwerty5678's page activity

Visits<b>adrianramz69</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 8:55am<b>DoubleDie7</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 7:43am<b>swarm20</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 12:21am<b>Faith13</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 1:24am<b>carry_on</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 1:28pm<b>Riku714</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 6:27am<b>SolarFlare</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 4:27pm<b>ifhydomo23</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 9:23pm<b>PaigeLeeAnn11</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 10:53pm

qwerty5678's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of qwerty5678's badges

qwerty5678's favorite FMLs

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25416) - you deserved it (55848)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a guy from work that I barely know gave me sunflowers for my birthday. He told me, "You mentioned they were your favorite." I mentioned it to my family at home a few days ago. FML

#21069947
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48226) - you deserved it (4327)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by You Are My Sunshine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I watched my brother attempt to cook some eggs without turning the gas on. FML

#21066280
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39278) - you deserved it (4795)

On 02/20/2014 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53095) - you deserved it (5268)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31732) - you deserved it (47942)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, a woman pushed a stroller in front of my car. Thinking I'd hit someone, I jumped out. Turns out it was a doll. The "woman" was a 14-year-old girl, claiming, "I did it for the Vine!" FML

#21058421
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52515) - you deserved it (4149)

On 02/12/2014 at 7:52pm - misc - by Parusu - United States (Florida)

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

#21056009
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42931) - you deserved it (7480)

On 02/10/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by aarong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML

Today, I heard my sister talking to my mom about me, saying that I have the ability to suck the life out of a room like a Dementor. I walked in and asked what she meant by that. My mom replied, "She means you're an asshole." I love you too, mom. FML

#21055293
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35894) - you deserved it (6349)

On 02/09/2014 at 12:00pm - misc - by jigglepuff - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon after I had explained to her how scared I was of the exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

#21054343
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43106) - you deserved it (5842)

On 02/08/2014 at 12:13pm - misc - by so scared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52804) - you deserved it (18632)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42232) - you deserved it (21939)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I was ringing an elderly gentleman up at work. As I went to package up the buns he ordered, he held up a hand and told me to wait. He then looked me in the eyes, started squeezing them, then winked and told me to go ahead. I've never felt so violated. FML

#21050427
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39720) - you deserved it (4066)

On 02/04/2014 at 4:42pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

#21049445
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45255) - you deserved it (3433)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm - misc - by jai90 (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: