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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 21 July 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 501
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About qwacktastick : There are three kinds of people in the world...
People who can count, and people who can't.

qwacktastick's page activity

Visits<b>Violat3r</b> - yesterday at 4:22pm<b>beastiness</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 6:55pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 11:26pm<b>rootbeer42</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 4:58pm<b>NotAUser</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 2:45pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 9:13am<b>coleh1998</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 8:09am<b>WaywardDaughter</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 4:54pm<b>Redthetrainer</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 10:26pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 12:24am<b>steeledwolf</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 7:46pm<b>mayashallcross</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 10:47am

qwacktastick's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of qwacktastick's badges

qwacktastick's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

by fionnathehuman / 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm / United States / Kids

Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML

by Jenna / 07/03/2012 at 7:20pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love

Today, I had to take Viagra. FML

by aaah. / 05/24/2012 at 1:42am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

by lifeonfire12 / 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML

by crazydaughter / 04/12/2012 at 8:51am / Egypt / Kids

Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML

by mista_sandy / 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

by Tanner / 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother told the family that if you pull on the dog's back foot then she always obeys. I later found my mom tugging on the dog's foot whispering "jump off a cliff" repeatedly. FML

by lala7 / 08/20/2011 at 7:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought my cats two new litter boxes in hopes that they would use them. They still prefer to pee on the clothes in my closet. FML

by princessbbee / 08/18/2011 at 1:40pm / United States / Animals

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm / United States / Kids

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

by Rejected / 07/16/2011 at 9:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

by ohno / 07/13/2011 at 12:43am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I told my mother I have a girlfriend. Her first answer was "Does she know?" FML

by notacreeper / 04/05/2011 at 8:00pm / Love