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queen_awks's favorite FMLs
by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML
by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy
by gassy / 12/29/2012 at 4:32am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML
by LearnGeographyUSA / 12/12/2012 at 1:45am / United States (Washington) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/09/2012 at 3:53pm / New Zealand (Gisborne) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by musicthief / 10/22/2012 at 6:51pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by Nana / 10/22/2012 at 11:39am / Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/17/2012 at 6:15am / Australia / Love
by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML
by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 7:02pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
by DwarfFrog / 06/18/2012 at 7:38am / United States / Miscellaneous
by fail / 06/15/2012 at 11:36am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…