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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 150
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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quarterweek's favorite FMLs

Today, my 4-year-old twin boys are fighting because they both want to watch the SAME show on Netflix. They don't want the other one to choose, because somehow that invalidates their own choice, even though they both get to watch what they want, which is "Barbie, life in the dream house". FML


I agree, your life sucks (13944) - you deserved it (1245)

On 11/25/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my crush came into the gas station I work at and said, "Man, you look hot today!" Flattered, I thanked him. He replied, "No, I mean like hot and sweaty, like you've been working hard." FML

Today, I learned the hard way that my boyfriend lied about getting a vasectomy before we met, in spite of knowing how phobic I am of pregnancy and kids. His defense? "I figured you'd change your mind someday, because all you chicks love babies." FML

Today, I accidentally came across a video of my parents on an amateur porn site. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32504) - you deserved it (4789)

On 09/14/2015 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Motherf*cker - United States

Today, I got fired, apparently for being racist to black people. When I told my boyfriend, he couldn't stop laughing. He's black. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32046) - you deserved it (3123)

On 07/15/2015 at 6:02pm - misc - by Razz - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His father was completely wasted, his mom was high, and his 11-year-old sister was talking about her favorite alcoholic drinks at the dinner table. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34705) - you deserved it (3077)

On 01/11/2015 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my parents were artists when they met. My mom said that I was one of their best projects yet. My sister, hearing what my mother said, broke my week-old PS3 in a rage. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50783) - you deserved it (3653)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:31pm - misc - by H1dd3n (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML


I agree, your life sucks (16475) - you deserved it (43075)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11579) - you deserved it (46794)

On 01/22/2011 at 12:39pm - love - by jester777 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I told her best friend the plan the day before. I got reservations to a restaurant on the beach, and we were going to arrive via boat. She never showed. Her parents called me asking why she left town to go to Paris. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35192) - you deserved it (3104)

On 12/24/2009 at 6:37pm - love - by hoplessG (man) - United States

Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML


I agree, your life sucks (66091) - you deserved it (11387)

On 03/06/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by cumguzzler - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML

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