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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 85848
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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purplestuff's page activity

Visits<b>mike13245</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 9:52am<b>Helldemon</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 1:18am<b>JohnnyKade</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 9:25pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 1:29pm<b>thesunandthemoon</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 3:06am<b>RENOFETT</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 7:02pm<b>kmafia5</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 3:25pm<b>DyingRage</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 8:39pm<b>Zatert</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 6:01pm<b>DrafteeSelf</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 6:51pm<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 4:21pm<b>fuckme_328385</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 7:06am<b>Strajee</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 6:19am<b>Rgduncan</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 7:51pm<b>Draysor</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 4:05am<b>whitechick305</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 3:59pm<b>anonyferret</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 9:38am<b>roman11</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 3:50am

Fucked!<b>snipebp</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 6:53pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 6:30pm

purplestuff's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

purplestuff's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad, and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailer started out with "Most babies are accidents..." Right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML

by A2 / 06/28/2009 at 2:12am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

by notinflammable / 06/27/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. My doctor said it was okay to eat, so, I had some mashed potatoes. Apparently, my body disagreed with the doctor, because I threw up. Because my face was so swollen, it didn't make it out my mouth. It went through my nose instead. I literally blew chunks. FML

by bloodynose / 06/26/2009 at 10:35pm / United States (New York) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while at football practice, my teammates and I were on water break. At the bus barn next to the field, a good-looking girl was washing a bus. Some of the guys started to yell pick-up lines at her from 50 yards away, and pretty soon I chime in. She turns around. It was my younger sister. FML

by nail714 / 06/25/2009 at 1:02am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was texting a friend of mine. She mentioned it was her dad's birthday. I typed "Tell him Happy Birthday for me!" and as I pressed send I remember her dad was dead. FML

by blind / 06/24/2009 at 8:11am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a pond taking pictures with my new camera. I saw a mama duck leading her babies around and decided to get in closer to take a picture. Mama duck got spooked and led her babies too close to a waterfall escaping. One fell off. It never surfaced. FML

by DuckyKiller / 06/20/2009 at 8:11am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea to see what websites I go on from my computer while I wasn't home. She clicked the link that gave my computer a virus that I just got rid of a few days ago. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2009 at 1:52pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving in my car when out of the corner of my eye I notice a car pulling up next to me trying to get past me. I speed up, so as not to let the car pass me. It took me a while before I noticed I was racing against the shadow of my own car. FML

by nerd / 06/18/2009 at 10:15am / Finland (Eastern Finland) / Transportation

Today, it was my high school graduation. Because our school colors were red, black and white, and our principal looked somewhat like Hitler, the senior class prank was to salute him when he finished his speech. I was the only one. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2009 at 12:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

by Tim / 06/16/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

by Shaun / 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

by kitkat545 / 06/15/2009 at 7:18pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was being pulled into a pool by my girlfriend. To avoid ruining my phone, I tossed it into one of the chairs behind me. I missed and it landed into the hot tub behind it. FML

by WetPhone / 06/15/2009 at 2:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my parents for the first time in 11 weeks. They commented on how much weight I lost. I told how due to stress, I hadn't been able to eat anything for the past two weeks and I was basically unintentionally starving myself. They told me to keep it up. FML

by need2eat / 06/15/2009 at 11:48am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally 2 seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2009 at 7:23am / United States (California) / Intimacy