purplemango

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Offline (the 07/19/2016 at 6:33pm)

purplemango

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1074
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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purplemango's page activity

Visits<b>apineapple</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 9:47pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 1:25am<b>trollcrusher</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 10:57pm<b>jogihoppa8343</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 11:40am<b>BadApple88</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 11:32pm<b>patwo8</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 8:23pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 5:20pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 11:09am<b>CorvusVenator</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 9:43am<b>roman11</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 9:33am<b>rapunzel13</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 1:51am<b>charmingdisaster</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 3:14pm<b>theaccountant</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 4:55pm<b>zee8</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 10:18pm<b>Rectov</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 7:46am<b>satansfuckbuddy</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 2:06am<b>blondie9</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 4:40pm<b>buddy560</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 2:11pm

Fucked!<b>roman11</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 3:33pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 6:56am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 11:37pm

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purplemango's favorite FMLs

Today, my card got declined at Subway, so I walked to the nearest cashpoint thirty minutes away to frantically figure out how much cash I had in my card. As I went to pull my card out of my purse, it slipped from my grip and fell into the sewer. The guy behind me snorted with laughter. FML

by brokeandcardless / 01/13/2016 at 7:15am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Money

Today, after waking up to find a large spider outside my bedroom door and screaming, waking up my mum to kill it, she then sprayed it and went to pick it up. She then informed me it was made of plastic. My cat had got into the Halloween decorations from the spare room and decided to play. FML

by mutantprincess / 01/12/2016 at 5:48am / Australia / Animals

Today, my 4-year-old son is distraught. This morning we saw a man, dressed as Santa, passed out drunk on a public bench. My son is now convinced that it was his corpse, and that Santa Claus is dead. FML

by donguigeek / 12/23/2015 at 11:32pm / France / Kids

Today, I gave a group presentation. Because I didn't know the last names of my group members, I'd put fake ones in, intending to replace them later. I forgot to change them and I ended up giving a presentation alongside a very angry Greg Penishead and Josh Acne. FML

by friendless1004 / 11/12/2015 at 11:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

by Lisa / 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

by dogggg / 07/13/2014 at 10:10pm / India (Maharashtra) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

by lovely / 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, feeling bored and lonely, I drove into town to wander around the shops and go to Subway for lunch. While there, I picked up two trays and put one on the opposite side of the table, along with some of my rubbish, to make it look like I was with someone. FML

by FriutlessApple / 10/11/2013 at 11:18am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

by Treats For Days / 07/19/2013 at 9:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I wanted revenge on my college's drinks machine. For the past two days, it forgot to release a cup before pouring my coffee. This time, I had planned ahead; I put my money in, entered the code, and quickly inserted my own cup. It gave me hot water. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2013 at 3:25am / France / Money

Today, I was running late for work and quickly grabbed my outfit from the dryer. I heard the crackling of static as I took out my shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when my co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to my back. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2013 at 2:32am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, after a drunken New Year's Eve party with friends, I woke up with a penis on my cheek. It wasn't a drawing. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2013 at 6:15am / Love