Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

pureportedpear

Offline (53 minutes ago) | Search for a member

pureportedpear

28Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 14 June 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2186
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About pureportedpear : Just a typical teenager here, but my four favorte things in this world would be;
1. Riding my MC, atleast on warm sunny days.
2. Eating delicious food, I mean, who does not like food?!?
3. Anime, streaming some anime from time to time. Too many good ones to decide on a favorite though. Just passed the 2.5K episodes not too long ago.
4. Gaming, mostly in the MOBA smite in the last year or so.
Do not be afraid to message me if you need a recomendation on an anime, seen quite a few of them, also have some mangas that I can recomend, but not as many.
Or you can just message me you you just want to chat :)

pureportedpear's page activity

Visits<b>symfora</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 7:51am<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 6:09am<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 1:53pm<b>psychopolarbear</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 10:14am<b>randy98</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 1:49pm<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 4:44pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 1:59pm<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 10:46pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 8:15pm<b>nerdtoninja</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 6:53pm<b>weeyin12</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 5:34am<b>LiquidFantasy</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 9:47pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 8:18pm<b>PikachuTaylor</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 7:17pm<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 6:42am<b>shadesofcool</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 5:21pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 8:33am<b>meghancuma</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 8:10am

Fucked!<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 12:10pm<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 10:44pm<b>ladyofdeath13</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:19am<b>randy98</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 12:12am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:28am<b>afrostybird</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 2:14pm<b>lindacollins423</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 8:49am<b>Skulllily</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 3:13am<b>chookie99</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 1:42am<b>Mons</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 4:40am<b>Mogo25067</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 5:24pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 2:14am<b>gunnerette</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 10:05pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 6:22pm<b>HikaruNoGo</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 8:25am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 2:19am<b>sunnyskys</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 6:43pm<b>Life_sucksXx</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 2:02am

pureportedpear's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of pureportedpear's badges

pureportedpear's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52048) - you deserved it (9406)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36280) - you deserved it (24350)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I spent my afternoon rummaging through old jeans and other pants, due to being broke and needing cash for ramen. FML

#21226442
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38008) - you deserved it (4908)

On 08/01/2014 at 1:33am - money - by baconistasty27 - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44610) - you deserved it (7583)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44610) - you deserved it (7583)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

#21190698
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55750) - you deserved it (7210)

On 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to spray my open window with the hose. RIP my laptop, phone, school books, wooden desk, my entire bookshelf, and my carpet. FML

#21183828
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55552) - you deserved it (4847)

On 06/22/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

#21176688
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44208) - you deserved it (9955)

On 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I put my headphones on and laid down to relax to some music. I fell asleep, and woke up later to a police officer busting into my house. My neighbor had been knocking on my door, then looked through my window and saw me on my couch, and was convinced I'd died. FML

#21168349
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51933) - you deserved it (5038)

On 06/09/2014 at 3:37pm - misc - by I'm Not Dead Yet - United States (Arizona)

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

#21163612
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43538) - you deserved it (4544)

On 06/05/2014 at 4:11am - work - by unashamed - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer. We're very close, and I called my boyfriend, really needing some support. I'd barely told him what had happened, when he replied, "Babe, I'm in the middle of a game here. Call me later." FML

#21150333
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50786) - you deserved it (6365)

On 05/24/2014 at 3:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while driving home, some idiot kept tailgating me, so I slowed down, hoping he'd overtake me. He didn't, so I pulled to the side of the road. He did the same, in front of me. He kept toying with me until I crashed into another car trying to speed away from him. FML

#21149457
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45246) - you deserved it (15049)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47911) - you deserved it (4995)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML

#21123602
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37124) - you deserved it (5170)

On 04/26/2014 at 3:55pm - misc - by fuckingfloridahowihatethee (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: