pureportedpear

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pureportedpear

42Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 14 June 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3326
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About pureportedpear : Just send me a message if you want to talk, or if you need a reccomendation on a anime/manga/manwha and I might be able to help you. Got a few books too but not as many

pureportedpear's page activity

Visits<b>mmaarrrggoo</b> - 9 hours ago<b>chickypie1987</b> - 24 hours ago<b>huskyninja79</b> - yesterday at 6:39pm<b>That_One_Guy123</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 1:13pm<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 12:40pm<b>RandomJam124</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 7:52pm<b>Etched</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 11:44pm<b>thatweirdasian</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 10:22pm<b>jeepersno</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 6:01am<b>ADBurns</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 2:45am<b>EmZoWe</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 6:56pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 1:58pm<b>Emma1562</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 1:07am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 3:04pm<b>NebraskaChick</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 11:20pm<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 1:34am<b>pmore04</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 6:09am<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 10:21pm

Fucked!<b>Emma1562</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 3:52am<b>pmore04</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 9:55am<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 11:56pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 10:10pm<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 3:14am<b>misfit_14_</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:20pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:16pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 3:06pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 8:09am<b>Sansa_Kroma</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 4:40am<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 1:20am<b>Idekanymore123</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 8:02pm<b>ally_sanderson</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 2:51pm<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 5:09am<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 12:10pm<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 10:44pm<b>ladyofdeath13</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:19am<b>randy98</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 12:12am

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

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pureportedpear's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking back to my dorm with my boyfriend. He was being really sweet as he held my hand. We were about to kiss goodnight and as he pushed some hair out of my face he said, "Can we hurry it up? I'm about to rip one." FML

by grossedout / 10/31/2014 at 8:39pm / Love

Today, as I was walking home from work, I got chased halfway home by a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I live in central Norway. FML

by noxiffic / 10/31/2014 at 8:31am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

by Australian Lifeguard / 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

by John / 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

by badplacerightnow / 10/13/2014 at 10:15am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while walking to work, I found out what it feels like to be hit in the face by a rolled up newspaper thrown from the window of a moving car by a paper boy doing his rounds. It hit hard enough to give me a black eye. FML

by newswithabitofbite / 08/28/2014 at 6:31am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

by Anonymous / 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

by whoops / 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent my afternoon rummaging through old jeans and other pants, due to being broke and needing cash for ramen. FML

by baconistasty27 / 08/01/2014 at 1:33am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to spray my open window with the hose. RIP my laptop, phone, school books, wooden desk, my entire bookshelf, and my carpet. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2014 at 1:27am / Australia / Miscellaneous