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pureportedpear

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

pureportedpear

39Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 14 June 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2686
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About pureportedpear : Just send me a message if you want to talk, or if you need a reccomendation on a anime/manga/manwha and I might be able to help you. Got a few books too but not as many

pureportedpear's page activity

Visits<b>Seashells77</b> - 4 hours ago<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - 5 hours ago<b>am1717</b> - 8 hours ago<b>misfit_14_</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Bethaneey</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 3:38pm<b>Psychotique</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 12:54pm<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 9:14pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:09pm<b>viktoria3</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 5:34pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 3:23pm<b>emlizcat</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 12:19am<b>yellow33</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 7:34pm<b>Rocklegend_16</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 6:05pm<b>wassuploves</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 4:11pm<b>CarmenCnh</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 2:38pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 2:16pm<b>ashrose95</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 6:28am<b>happypenguins</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 12:30am

Fucked!<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - just now<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 3:14am<b>misfit_14_</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:20pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:16pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 3:06pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 8:09am<b>Sansa_Kroma</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 4:40am<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 1:20am<b>Idekanymore123</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 8:02pm<b>ally_sanderson</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 2:51pm<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 5:09am<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 12:10pm<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 10:44pm<b>ladyofdeath13</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:19am<b>randy98</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 12:12am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:28am<b>afrostybird</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 2:14pm<b>lindacollins423</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 8:49am

pureportedpear's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of pureportedpear's badges

pureportedpear's favorite FMLs

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

#21276832
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43952) - you deserved it (8828)

On 10/13/2014 at 10:15am - intimacy - by badplacerightnow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while walking to work, I found out what it feels like to be hit in the face by a rolled up newspaper thrown from the window of a moving car by a paper boy doing his rounds. It hit hard enough to give me a black eye. FML

#21246995
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38228) - you deserved it (3085)

On 08/28/2014 at 6:31am - work - by newswithabitofbite (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

#21243310
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26225) - you deserved it (47420)

On 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53182) - you deserved it (9550)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36937) - you deserved it (24805)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I spent my afternoon rummaging through old jeans and other pants, due to being broke and needing cash for ramen. FML

#21226442
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38740) - you deserved it (4967)

On 08/01/2014 at 1:33am - money - by baconistasty27 - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46195) - you deserved it (7808)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46195) - you deserved it (7808)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

#21190698
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57942) - you deserved it (7451)

On 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to spray my open window with the hose. RIP my laptop, phone, school books, wooden desk, my entire bookshelf, and my carpet. FML

#21183828
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56394) - you deserved it (4912)

On 06/22/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

#21176688
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47140) - you deserved it (10597)

On 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I put my headphones on and laid down to relax to some music. I fell asleep, and woke up later to a police officer busting into my house. My neighbor had been knocking on my door, then looked through my window and saw me on my couch, and was convinced I'd died. FML

#21168349
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52753) - you deserved it (5092)

On 06/09/2014 at 3:37pm - misc - by I'm Not Dead Yet - United States (Arizona)

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

#21163612
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44085) - you deserved it (4582)

On 06/05/2014 at 4:11am - work - by unashamed - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer. We're very close, and I called my boyfriend, really needing some support. I'd barely told him what had happened, when he replied, "Babe, I'm in the middle of a game here. Call me later." FML

#21150333
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51572) - you deserved it (6437)

On 05/24/2014 at 3:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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