Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

pureportedpear

Online | Search for a member

pureportedpear

7Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 14 June 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1493
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About pureportedpear : Just a typical teenager here, but my four favorte things in this world would be;
1. Riding my MC, atleast on warm sunny days.
2. Eating delicious food, I mean, who does not like food?!?
3. Anime, streaming some anime from time to time. Too many good ones to decide on a favorite though.
4. Gaming, mostly in the MOBA smite in the last year or so.
Do not be afraid to message me if you need a recomendation on an anime, seen quite a few of them, also have some mangas that I can recomend, but not as many.
Or you can just message me you you just want to chat :)

pureportedpear's page activity

Visits<b>Aurelian</b> - yesterday at 11:50am<b>charliedee</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 10:51pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 8:44pm<b>thecalvin123</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 9:51pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:23am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 10:17am<b>taylorcheri</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 10:43pm<b>maddy_2001</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 10:35pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 8:12am<b>godlytomato</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 11:27pm<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 9:50am<b>JustinCredible42</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 9:45am<b>TaylorWhiteGirl</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 8:45am<b>iPixiee</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 7:55am<b>gis0392</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 5:40pm<b>ScarredFlame</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 7:34pm<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 5:10pm<b>Dylanlev05</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 3:32pm

Liked!<b>JustinCredible42</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 3:46pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 1:48pm<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 6:45pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 2:36am<b>born_to_die</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 7:37pm<b>bruhitsleigha</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 7:27pm<b>jenamalone</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 4:50pm

pureportedpear's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of pureportedpear's badges

pureportedpear's favorite FMLs

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

#20926483
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43664) - you deserved it (4774)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by overly nationalistic redneck (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I found out my handwriting is so bad that people think I write in Arabic. FML

#20922701
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41724) - you deserved it (9351)

On 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's my wedding day. Almost a year ago I was in a terrible car accident that nearly left me paralyzed, but I worked my ass off to be able to walk down the aisle. After a lot of blood, sweat, and tears I made it to the big day... and woke up with food poisoning. FML

#20883990
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63369) - you deserved it (2840)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - health - by somethingblue - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I waited in the pouring rain for my wife to come pick me up from work. It was only after I was thoroughly drenched that I remembered it was my wife's day off, and that I drove myself to work earlier in her car, which was parked fifty feet from where I was waiting. FML

#20883919
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37439) - you deserved it (40428)

On 09/16/2013 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57392) - you deserved it (9338)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML

#20874883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37671) - you deserved it (12103)

On 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42436) - you deserved it (4706)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

#20830594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42198) - you deserved it (4900)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

#20823686
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58869) - you deserved it (14698)

On 08/06/2013 at 11:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56326) - you deserved it (9335)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML

#20796202
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50532) - you deserved it (3603)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:20pm - work - by Gross (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML

#20786569
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49440) - you deserved it (4141)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:00pm - love - by .__. (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58637) - you deserved it (12281)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML

#20779957
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28030) - you deserved it (54963)

On 07/13/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by fuck (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: