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puppyXluvz123

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puppyXluvz123
  • Town/Country : Wichita KS
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 238
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24084) - you deserved it (4190)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML

#17489385
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20770) - you deserved it (7740)

On 08/16/2011 at 11:00am - misc - by bursteardrums (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, a customer had an allergic reaction to the almonds in the sundae I made for her. We're supposed to put the almonds on unless the customer asks otherwise. She complained to my boss that I'd poisoned her. FML

#16462261
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27514) - you deserved it (2901)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:40am - work - by Unemployed (man) - United States

Today, I got chickenpox. I'm 28 and having chickenpox as an adult is excruciatingly painful. When I told my boss I wasn't going to be at work today because of chickenpox he replied, "That's the worst excuse I've ever heard. Adults don't get chickenpox." He then fired me. FML

#14832801
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35572) - you deserved it (2431)

On 02/03/2011 at 10:19pm - health - by Pox (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while running late to my sister's wedding and rushing to get ready, I accidentally grabbed my travel size shaving cream can in place of my body spray, and quickly drew a blue foaming line across my rental tux. FML

#10821429
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24377) - you deserved it (11625)

On 05/28/2010 at 2:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

#5149923
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33273) - you deserved it (3512)

On 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm - kids - by WOCOACH (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, is my boyfriend and my 3 year anniversary. We decided to give each other something that we really needed. I bought him the $300 worth of books that he needed for college. He surprised me with a workout video and exercise equipment. FML

#1322520
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45757) - you deserved it (9645)

On 04/25/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by fmlgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I have an auto immune disease which causes my penis to look like a tie-dye t shirt. FML

#2444
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27011) - you deserved it (1932)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:05pm - health - by Damm - United States (New York)



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