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pt300

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pt300

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Visits<b>pratikp03</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 8:09pm<b>EmberEyes</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 1:43am<b>msrachelmarie</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 4:35pm<b>Stylux</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 4:44am<b>coversquirrel</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:44pm

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pt300's favorite FMLs

Today, a new employee started at our office. She's about 18, barely does any work, chews gum loudly, has no manners, and happens to sit right next to me. She also threatens to report me for harassment whenever I politely ask her to not bash my chair with the back of her chair. FML

#21413003
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28648) - you deserved it (1918)

On 05/20/2015 at 12:17pm - work - by Anonymous - Cyprus (Paphos)

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26458) - you deserved it (2531)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32917) - you deserved it (6579)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31285) - you deserved it (6499)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18781) - you deserved it (55560)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was talking to my friend in Spanish because he understands it better than English. We were in the middle of a discussion about a TV show when some guy from our school ran up, spat on my shoes and screamed, "I SPEAK SPANISH, STOP TALKING ABOUT ME!" and ran away. FML

Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML

#21343482
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34220) - you deserved it (2317)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:25pm - misc - by Elrond Hubbard (man) - United States

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

#21335645
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32375) - you deserved it (3721)

On 01/12/2015 at 7:53am - love - by fukinlonely (man) - United Kingdom

Today, a guy called me out of the blue. Apparently, he'd copied my number from a sheet we'd filled out in church. He doesn't understand why I'm "overreacting". FML

#21335287
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26978) - you deserved it (3411)

On 01/11/2015 at 7:39pm - love - by janegeorge (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

#21318416
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35431) - you deserved it (6549)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML

#21316246
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28994) - you deserved it (7245)

On 12/12/2014 at 2:52pm - work - by driven_crazy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my teacher how old he was, and jokingly I said, "50?" Then he chuckled, so I laughed and said, "I was kidding… 42, 43, 44?" He then looked at me and said, "Are you trying to guess my age, or your grade percent in this class?" FML

#21315734
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21304) - you deserved it (27135)

On 12/11/2014 at 6:13pm - work - by IHateSchool-.- - United States

Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML

#21312200
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27571) - you deserved it (13918)

On 12/05/2014 at 8:32pm - animals - by sting - United States (California)

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43303) - you deserved it (3074)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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