Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (28 minutes ago) | Search for a member
About psychopolarbear : I'm extremely curious about almost everything. I love horseback riding, kickboxing, archery, reading, and drawing. I also absolutely adore my silly Pitbull/Rottweiler pup, Rosie.
Music is one of the greatest things to ever happen to me. I play the saxophone and a few other odd instruments. I speak enough to converse in German, which I very much enjoy learning more about.
I have friends on pretty much every continent. I'm kinda shy at first but once someone gets to know me the real trick is getting me to be quiet sometimes :D
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML
Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML
Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML
Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML
Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML
Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML
Friday 22 May 2015