Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

psychopolarbear

Online | Search for a member

psychopolarbear

2Liked!

psychopolarbearpsychopolarbear
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 January 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2313
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About psychopolarbear : I'm extremely curious about almost everything. I love horseback riding, kickboxing, archery, reading, and drawing. I also absolutely adore my silly Pitbull/Rottweiler pup, Rosie.

Music is the greatest thing to ever happen to me. I play the saxophone and a few other odd instruments. I have been taking classes in german, which I very much enjoy learning.

I have friends on pretty much every continent. I'm kinda shy at first but once someone gets to know me the real trick is getting me to be quiet sometimes :D

psychopolarbear's page activity

Visits<b>Dick_diamond</b> - 40 minutes ago<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - yesterday at 5:49pm<b>MELKOZAR</b> - yesterday at 7:19am<b>MDoremis</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:28am<b>devildog562</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 10:58pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:53pm<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:14pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 6:50pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 5:36pm<b>Sunflower1919</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 5:20am<b>thecouchisalive</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 11:42pm<b>woainishamu</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:33pm<b>mischiefkel</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 1:29pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 8:13pm<b>orbit</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 3:35pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 2:11pm<b>supernerd95</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 2:05pm<b>hondajason72280</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:09am

Liked!<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - 23 hours ago<b>MDoremis</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 6:29am

psychopolarbear's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of psychopolarbear's badges

psychopolarbear's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave birth to our first child at home. What was supposed to be a beautiful moment of us peacefully greeting our newborn, ended up with the cops knocking on our door. Apparently me giving birth sounds like a domestic dispute. FML

#21331295
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30731) - you deserved it (6370)

On 01/05/2015 at 12:58pm - kids - by midwify (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, while at work at a call center, I got a call from an elderly man who needed a new credit card because he'd accidentally cut up his own card instead of his wife's. Trying to be funny, I said "Trying to keep her in line, eh?" Turns out his wife had just died. FML

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

#21327463
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33196) - you deserved it (2639)

On 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

#21327404
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26643) - you deserved it (15610)

On 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm - work - by smooth - United States

Today, my wife started a 24 hour urine collection as directed by the doctor for her pregnancy. She has to collect the urine in a gallon jug, and refrigerate it. At lunch time, I went to go get the rest of my sandwich but was unable to find it, until she suggested I "look under the piss jug." FML

Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run." then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML

#21323182
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32829) - you deserved it (3391)

On 12/24/2014 at 9:43am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out the person who's been stalking and harassing me online was actually my now ex-boyfriend. He only confessed as I finally picked up the phone to report it to the police. He basically said he wanted me to turn to him for comfort and protection, so he could "feel like a man". FML

#21323138
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30673) - you deserved it (2330)

On 12/24/2014 at 7:03am - misc - by jflac (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend slept with my sister. "Accidentally", apparently. FML

#21322801
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37371) - you deserved it (2922)

On 12/23/2014 at 4:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

#21322698
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37395) - you deserved it (3903)

On 12/23/2014 at 1:32pm - love - by both are dimwitted - United States (California)

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

#21322290
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39201) - you deserved it (4359)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm - love - by Soulara89 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. As things got heated, he broke down crying. I assumed it was just anxiety so I hugged him and told him it's alright and that it didn't matter, we'd try another time. Half an hour later, he confessed that he's actually gay. FML

Today, thanks to some asswipe drunk driver fleeing the cops the wrong way down a one-way street, I've now had my third wreck this year. My insurance premium's now higher than Bob Marley in a weed factory. FML

#21321099
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31577) - you deserved it (2738)

On 12/20/2014 at 7:53pm - money - by financially_wreckd (man) -

Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as the "cheese stick incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML

#21319860
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29906) - you deserved it (3811)

On 12/18/2014 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother-in-law asked for a copy of my son's death certificate so she could have her week-long island beach holiday classed as bereavement leave. FML

Today, half of my motivation to stop drinking is so that my tolerance will go down, because I currently can't actually afford enough alcohol to get even tipsy anymore. FML

#21319263
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26648) - you deserved it (11447)

On 12/17/2014 at 5:41pm - health - by Recovering Alcoholic - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: