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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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prinzess's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML
by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:26am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by AlreadyInDebt / 01/26/2011 at 3:52am / United States (Wisconsin) / Money
by skyhigh / 01/13/2011 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Money
by galen / 06/03/2009 at 2:06am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by lfssecond / 05/30/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (Connecticut) / Animals
Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML
by M2thaM / 05/29/2009 at 1:23am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw this tourist almost get hit by a cab. After he walked away I complained to my boyfriend about how idiotic people like him just deserve to die. After 5 blocks of my ranting the tourist turns around and says "I'm right in front of you bitch." I hid behind my laughing boyfriend. FML
by Ash / 05/26/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML
by oopsie / 05/24/2009 at 10:50am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Imretarded / 05/24/2009 at 1:18am / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
by partygirlxxx / 05/23/2009 at 11:01pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
by astraboy / 05/21/2009 at 5:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML
by poop / 05/18/2009 at 1:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML
by Anonymous / 05/18/2009 at 8:40am / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Intimacy