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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 486
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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prettychic2001's page activity

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prettychic2001's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28081) - you deserved it (2841)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was lying on a couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19879) - you deserved it (8506)

On 08/24/2015 at 4:46am - misc - by Annie (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49166) - you deserved it (7109)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50066) - you deserved it (18220)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47012) - you deserved it (5622)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53303) - you deserved it (6952)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (52475) - you deserved it (6719)

On 11/03/2013 at 9:22am - kids - by KittyKat (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (42531) - you deserved it (8518)

On 09/25/2013 at 10:42am - intimacy - by what (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52543) - you deserved it (4231)

On 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm - animals - by ugh Buck! (woman) - United States

Today, my best friend confessed to me that she's a lesbian. She quickly added, "Oh, don't worry, I don't like you. You're not attractive." FML


I agree, your life sucks (53976) - you deserved it (4619)

On 09/07/2013 at 10:17am - misc - by ...thanks (woman) - United States

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41521) - you deserved it (6623)

On 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by no life to fuck :/ (man) - United States (California)

Today, I actually had to explain to my husband why his habit of wiping his boogers off into our baby's hair has to stop. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45720) - you deserved it (3520)

On 08/29/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by grossedout (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57625) - you deserved it (6526)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

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  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

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