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potatotree

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potatotree

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  • Number of visits : 185
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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potatotree's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61017) - you deserved it (5984)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, I finished the kayak I have been working on for four years. I can't get it out of my basement. FML

#20811304
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40089) - you deserved it (23447)

On 07/30/2013 at 10:13am - misc - by kayak probs - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to see one of my favorite bands. They were having signings, but only the first one hundred could get one. When I finally got to the desk, they said I was number hundred and one, and to get lost. FML

#20795083
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52742) - you deserved it (4122)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59082) - you deserved it (10893)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, I needed a change of clothes, so I called my mom. She brought me a grey shirt with a toucan on the front and Mexico City spelled in glitter. I asked her why she would bring me such an ugly shirt, and she started crying. Turns out she bought it for me as a present from her trip. FML

#20762834
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26079) - you deserved it (50959)

On 07/04/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by awwimanahole (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

#20762781
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66714) - you deserved it (5784)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by OnPlanetVenus (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend and I talked about our past relationships. He said he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was "too smart" for him, and that he felt better being with someone who "doesn't have too many lights on upstairs, if you know what I mean." FML

#20729746
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49611) - you deserved it (5727)

On 06/16/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by ... (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

#20721670
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37677) - you deserved it (68439)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend threw out my old voicemail recorder, thinking it was junk. My father passed away years ago. I kept a recording of the last voicemail he'd left me on it so I'd always remember his voice. FML

#20718168
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76490) - you deserved it (3860)

On 06/10/2013 at 7:35pm - misc - by Upset (woman) - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom at work when I ran out of toilet paper. There was another guy in the restroom so I asked him if he could hand me a roll. He laughed, called me a dumbass, turned off the lights and walked out. FML

#20717345
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50827) - you deserved it (5695)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:55am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my friend got dumped. I wanted to say, "You must be devastated", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML

#20717146
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44166) - you deserved it (12816)

On 06/10/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML

#20709141
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45503) - you deserved it (7956)

On 06/06/2013 at 4:49am - misc - by dollabill009 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

#16234467
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65408) - you deserved it (4482)

On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

#15619603
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72890) - you deserved it (5896)

On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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