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Offline (the 03/02/2016 at 11:23pm)



  • Town/Country : McLoud, United States
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 July 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 815
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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posie97's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 2:17am<b>HelloKiittyy</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 2:16am<b>nwwaverider</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 6:42pm<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 2:30am<b>BandLoversUnite</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 11:54pm<b>XxPojoxX</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 10:13am<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 1:25pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 6:45pm<b>nhatt</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 7:07pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 11:15pm<b>OperationNacho</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 10:50pm<b>YourOpinionSucks</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 4:40pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 1:51pm<b>LivRoberts</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 9:00am<b>lukian</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 8:29am<b>vikky538</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 7:00pm<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 8:17am<b>_parth</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:33pm

Fucked!<b>lukian</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 3:14am<b>sprigs_</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 4:37am<b>haileyrows</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 6:34pm<b>lochiamochia</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 8:03am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 4:14am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 4:34am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 12:08pm

posie97's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of posie97's badges

posie97's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

by DrtySnchez / 08/18/2013 at 5:37am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 4:49am / Kids

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

by Oh-Shit! / 08/10/2013 at 11:23am / United States / Health

Today, I found the carcass of the frog that got into my house last week. It was a horrifying sight, but not nearly as horrifying as the fact that I found it in my refrigerator. No, I don't know how it got in there either. FML

by W...T...F / 08/09/2013 at 12:15pm / United States / Animals

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've had the biggest crush on. He spent the next ten minutes calling me delusional, said that I know nothing about him, and laughed that "this isn't Twilight, for fuck's sake". All he did when I started crying was pat me on the head and leave. FML

by names suck and so do I / 08/08/2013 at 8:54am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Love

Today, during an otherwise promising job interview, I was asked how much I thought was too much for a "good hit of blow". I must have stayed speechless for too long, because the guy's next words were, "Yeah, you're not cut out for this." I'm shocked and baffled too. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2013 at 6:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

by ImNotFat / 08/07/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was leaving my friends' apartment in my mom's car and I backed into a fire hydrant. I lied and told my mom it was a hit and run. So she called the apartment complex. They had me on video hitting the fire hydrant. FML

by why me?? / 08/07/2013 at 12:21am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

by pong / 08/06/2013 at 5:59pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Health

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

by benjo / 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm / United States / Kids

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2013 at 11:19am / United States (Arkansas) / Kids

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Health

Today, I woke up at 6am and went into the kitchen, where I saw a mouse in front of the fridge. Petrified, I stood in the doorway shooing it for a few minutes. My husband then walked into the kitchen, picked up the "mouse", and threw it in the bin. It was a used tea bag. FML

by Tea_baggins / 08/06/2013 at 12:01am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML

by traumatizedforlife / 08/05/2013 at 4:21pm / United States / Animals

Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2013 at 1:33am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous