Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

porshigoo

Offline (the 01/27/2014 at 8:51pm) | Search for a member

porshigoo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 712
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

porshigoo's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of porshigoo's badges

porshigoo's favorite FMLs

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, we were cuddling when he grabbed his penis and made it say, "That was amazing! Thank you for the sex." He's 21 years old. FML

#21330918
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28924) - you deserved it (6285)

On 01/04/2015 at 9:50pm - love - by myboyfriendisweird - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mum sat me down for a serious talk about not being home enough - not because she misses me, but because the family cat needs more stability in her life. FML

#21329522
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29291) - you deserved it (2570)

On 01/02/2015 at 7:11pm - animals - by cat co-parent - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

#21329462
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37726) - you deserved it (8382)

On 01/02/2015 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by I'll Make You FartCum (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML

#21327839
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25413) - you deserved it (45111)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:00pm - kids - by skanula414 (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

#21327404
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27886) - you deserved it (16828)

On 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm - work - by smooth - United States

Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML

#21326870
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29512) - you deserved it (2794)

On 12/29/2014 at 11:17pm - animals - by woofwoof - Turkey (Izmir)

Today, I had to deal with numerous complaints about an employee washing their genitals in the communal bathroom sink. Nothing in the HR manual prepared me for this. FML

Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying "Hey there." She quickly replied, assuring me that she's not cheating on me. Uh, okay. FML

#21325320
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32745) - you deserved it (2625)

On 12/27/2014 at 2:14pm - love - by is_that_right (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a screenshot of his phone's contact list, to show me the adorable photo of us he'd set as my contact image. I guess he didn't realize that a contact called "Side Babe" was just barely in the screenshot too. FML

#21325257
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37274) - you deserved it (2713)

On 12/27/2014 at 11:54am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was trying to show my family a cool website. Unfortunately my porn instincts kicked in and I started typing the URL of my favorite porn site. I couldn't stop myself before it autocompleted. FML

#21324815
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14661) - you deserved it (35967)

On 12/26/2014 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I accidentally texted my mother instead of my drug dealer. FML

#21324443
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16821) - you deserved it (48002)

On 12/26/2014 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a very drunk woman at the family Christmas party told me she felt terrible that I don't have a mother who cares about me. She is my mother. FML

#21324062
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32766) - you deserved it (2241)

On 12/25/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

#21323893
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33672) - you deserved it (3490)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Today, my brother and I woke up early to get a sneak peek at our Christmas presents. We found our parents having sex on the couch. FML

#21323779
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37758) - you deserved it (15126)

On 12/25/2014 at 4:13am - intimacy - by VCDUDE11FTW - United States (Ohio)

Today, my ex boyfriend got married to the girl he told me was his sister. FML

#21323420
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33027) - you deserved it (2501)

On 12/24/2014 at 4:49pm - love - by single - United States (Utah)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: