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poopscoop1's FML badges
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poopscoop1's favorite FMLs
Today, I got fired from my job at an age care facility because I was too nice to my residents. My boss told me "They're deaf, blind and about to jump head first into the grave. We don't pay you to be kind." FML
by sweet23 / 08/18/2013 at 7:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
by Anonymous / 08/02/2013 at 5:34pm / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Health
Today, I went to see one of my favorite bands. They were having signings, but only the first one hundred could get one. When I finally got to the desk, they said I was number hundred and one, and to get lost. FML
by Anonymous / 07/21/2013 at 12:51am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had an allergy test. Not only was I allergic to 35 out of the 40 items, they also found out that I'm allergic to the latex gloves my doctor happened to be wearing. Now my entire back is covered in a rash that will last at least another week. FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2013 at 12:23am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 12:13am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
by So little trust. / 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/03/2013 at 5:01pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I was chatting online with several relatives, discussing our family reunion. Bored out of my mind, I clicked to rename the conversation to "Boring shit with almost dead people." I didn't know it'd rename it for everyone. FML
by emileeisamazing / 07/03/2013 at 12:54pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Nicks / 07/03/2013 at 11:10am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy
Today, I came home from a long shift at work to find that my roommate had completely rearranged all of the furniture. Apparently the new arrangement is supposed to improve the feng shui of our apartment. My bed is in the living room. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 8:00pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids
Today, I was working as a nurse, and an elderly man had just passed away. As the patient's wife was leaving she said, "Thank you for taking such good care of my husband." Then I, intending to say "Sorry for your loss," said "Thank you for your loss." FML
by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 4:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/28/2013 at 4:36pm / Jordan (Al Balqa') / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/28/2013 at 2:07pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML
by brigitte / 06/27/2013 at 1:35pm / France (Picardie) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I had a wet dream about a classmate. Now whenever I see her I get a raging erection. I have… Today, I went to Walmart with a friend of mine to buy some chips and drinks. As we were leaving the… Today, I had to tell a two year old to keep her hands out of the cats butt. Immediately afterwards…