About pooldude : Taking pleasure in other people's misery, but never judging.
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pooldude's favorite FMLs
Today, I tried to make a move on the cute guy who sits opposite me at work. In theory, I was going to start a game of footsie with him. In practice, I screwed up and managed to yank his computer's power cable out. He lost his unsaved work. FML
by Namaslayed / 10/16/2015 at 2:04pm / India (Maharashtra) / Work
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2015 at 11:05am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/13/2015 at 3:35am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I discovered that my 100-pound Rottweiler is absolutely terrified of (drumroll please) orange peels. Yup. A byproduct of my lunch will turn this hulking monolith with teeth into a whimpering puddle of pee. FML
by pansypup / 09/02/2015 at 10:30pm / United States (New Mexico) / Animals
by tkoester / 08/29/2015 at 12:29am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/11/2015 at 10:23pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy
Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML
by Hey_Buddy_ / 06/10/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by alaina2001 / 05/07/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by fuck you / 04/26/2015 at 4:19am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Love
Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML
by greatly disturbed / 03/07/2015 at 2:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by headache / 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/22/2015 at 11:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by IngenuityAbsent / 02/22/2015 at 8:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML
by wife / 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him… Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel… Today, after 6 months of university, sex was finally had in my bed. Unfortunately, I had no part in…
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my…