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pompomkiwi's favorite FMLs
Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML
by help me / 06/01/2014 at 11:51am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
Today, whilst getting out of the shower, I tripped on the lip of the siding, bruising my middle toe. I fell, and in doing so, squished my cat. She won't even make eye contact and keeps wheezing. I have a feeling she is plotting my death. FML
by Ashlynnlove / 02/10/2014 at 9:12am / United States / Animals
by pompomkiwi / 12/24/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by soreloser / 05/20/2013 at 2:32am / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
by xtammyle / 02/19/2013 at 2:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
by lonely one / 09/14/2012 at 6:17am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML
by Cheese4men / 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, my husband and I took a walk on the wharf. We walked by a Wax Museum and in front of the museum there was a bench with a very realistic wax man sitting on it. I got very close to his face and yelled over to my husband how realistic the wax man looked. Just then, he coughed. FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2010 at 8:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Misterhippo / 09/01/2009 at 8:04pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML
by harrysolo / 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met this really nice guy at the mall and he gave me his number. Later that night, I texted him. We got on the subject of food, and I started talking about how much I love veal. He responded with saying I was supporting animal murder, that I should go to hell and lose his number. FML
by Anonymous / 05/30/2009 at 11:34pm / United States (Texas) / Love
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