pokerface71

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Offline (the 07/14/2014 at 12:40am)

pokerface71

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 November 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5156
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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pokerface71's page activity

Visits<b>AHzulu</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 1:27am<b>Loomunati</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 11:18am<b>PeterCapaldi</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 1:47pm<b>thestoryofmylyf</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 12:11am<b>Mindset</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 10:34pm<b>sparklemuffin</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 12:49am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 3:06pm<b>abbyleigh99</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 1:14am<b>andy345</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 11:10pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:50am<b>djoudjou7598</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 11:05am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 11:13pm<b>AwkwardPimp</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 11:14pm<b>Aethereality</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 11:05am<b>PixelPsycho</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 4:45am<b>yahoowizard</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 3:47am<b>Shenanigans9</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 3:37am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 2:02am

Fucked!<b>AHzulu</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 7:27am

pokerface71's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of pokerface71's badges

pokerface71's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

by weeping_angel_ / 07/12/2014 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

by and god shat / 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2014 at 3:04pm / Netherlands / Health

Today, I had to explain what "cashback" was to a customer. She called me a liar and wanted to talk to a manager because she felt I made up the concept. I'm the manager. She wouldn't believe me and waited in the store for an hour. Apparently this is what a Masters degree gets me. FML

by where do they come from / 07/01/2014 at 12:26am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML

by Unknown / 06/29/2014 at 9:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I had a job interview where I was interrupted for using the word creative because there is "only one creator". FML

by IAMALITAHA / 06/27/2014 at 2:11am / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Work

Today, as a recruiter, I had an interview with a promising candidate for an open position at my company. The interview was going well until the candidate interrupted me halfway through to take a selfie. FML

by Sam / 06/25/2014 at 1:10am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was screamed at by a lady for riding my bike too slowly in front of her car. I was in the bike lane, and so was she. FML

by lrn2road / 06/24/2014 at 11:04am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, a guy at work pulled me aside to tell me that I probably shouldn't be working a job where I have to interact with customers, because of my autism. I don't have autism. FML

by Badatlife / 06/23/2014 at 12:19pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I was on vacation, when a very cute guy starting talking to me and asked me what my name was. Overwhelmed and stressed out, I blurted out that I didn't have one. FML

by Boulette / 06/23/2014 at 1:44am / Love

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to spray my open window with the hose. RIP my laptop, phone, school books, wooden desk, my entire bookshelf, and my carpet. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2014 at 1:27am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

by LoveGlove / 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2014 at 3:57pm / Australia / Health

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2014 at 11:15am / United States (Colorado) / Health