plzent3r

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Offline (the 03/18/2016 at 4:53am)

plzent3r

0Fucked!

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  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 556
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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plzent3r's page activity

Visits<b>Faith13</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 7:58am<b>oj101</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 3:46am

plzent3r's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

plzent3r's favorite FMLs

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

by Ow / 04/18/2014 at 7:09am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I found out my ex boyfriend is still obsessed with me. Apparently he named his dog after me and talks to her like she's a real person. FML

by Seriously? / 01/06/2014 at 2:17am / Intimacy

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

by stillhurting / 01/05/2014 at 4:45pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2013 at 7:45am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work as a cashier, I was scanning cantaloupes. The man buying them then looked me straight in the eye and said, "Nice melons." FML

by Nice Melons / 09/29/2013 at 5:12pm / United States / Work

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

by katt_is_here / 10/02/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Colorado) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend, who is a great cook, decided to try his hand at baking. The cookies he made looked weird but tasted good. I jokingly said, "They taste great, but they look awful!" He responded by saying, "I could say the same thing about you." FML

by yummy(: / 10/30/2010 at 10:14pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

by TheGirl / 11/23/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my little sister asked what masturbation was. We were having a family dinner with my grandparents. My mother then said, "Why don't you ask your brother? He is a pro." FML

by namhtor / 09/28/2009 at 3:20pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML

by Kristina / 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm / United States (New York) / Health