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platypus546

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platypus546

17Fucked!

platypus546platypus546
  • Town/Country : Newcastle, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 26 December 1982 (33 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2562
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About platypus546 : wow are you really that bored to be looking here?

then again procrastination is all that brings me here!

platypus546's page activity

Visits<b>Moskaaa7</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 6:40pm<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 1:58pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 7:11pm<b>nahara_moreno</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 10:58pm<b>Tori_belle</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 6:03pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 1:32pm<b>missoops</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 2:44pm<b>ImagineCrazy</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 10:34pm<b>pureNed</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 2:30am<b>closedrouge</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 5:19pm<b>sierrajo09</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 4:06am<b>hockeyy27</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 12:49am<b>Fia315</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 2:54am<b>originalunicorn</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 7:56pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 7:48pm<b>Jkalia</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 7:36pm<b>youngmuller1</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 5:50am<b>Psychosys</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 10:25pm

Fucked!<b>Moskaaa7</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 12:41am<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 7:59pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 1:11am<b>Tori_belle</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 12:03am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:48am<b>youngmuller1</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 1:07pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 7:15am<b>ImagineCrazy</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 5:21pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 3:02am<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 3:18pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 3:16am<b>kendalbear</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 4:25am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 3:54am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:08am<b>Zee_Mills</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 11:20pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 5:25pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 4:22pm

platypus546's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of platypus546's badges

platypus546's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML

#21483767
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22006) - you deserved it (3014)

On 10/24/2015 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my slightly batshit insane grandma called me disgusting and unladylike. Why? For writing with my left hand. FML

#21461322
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23279) - you deserved it (1504)

On 08/27/2015 at 12:34pm - misc - by lefthandspanker (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML

Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

Today, after waking up in a panic because I was running late for work again, I realized I was fired for that exact reason the day before. FML

#21404798
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16877) - you deserved it (28688)

On 05/04/2015 at 10:08pm - work - by Jobless in Seattle - United States (Texas)

Today, I orgasmed in front of someone for the first time. Too bad it was my dad who didn't knock before coming in. FML

#21399489
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37840) - you deserved it (6205)

On 04/25/2015 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he traded nude pictures I sent him for a costume piece in an internet game. He told me I should be okay with this, because, "It's a rare piece." FML

#21398399
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34236) - you deserved it (6759)

On 04/23/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

#21398419
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30303) - you deserved it (4548) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/23/2015 at 8:27am - kids - by bleue - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML

#21387442
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30043) - you deserved it (4062)

On 04/04/2015 at 8:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

#21372045
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15657) - you deserved it (53696)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

#21363391
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34343) - you deserved it (4126)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47076) - you deserved it (4417)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37010) - you deserved it (58194)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)



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