platypus546

Search for a member

Offline (10 hours ago)

platypus546

61Fucked!

platypus546platypus546
  • Town/Country : Newcastle, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 26 December 1982 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3250
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About platypus546 : wow are you really that bored to be looking here?

then again procrastination is all that brings me here!
Snapchat, Twitter, IG: rayson_toast

platypus546's page activity

Visits<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - 5 hours ago<b>alicat089</b> - 22 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 12:19am<b>anak36</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 10:27pm<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 4:52pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 6:03pm<b>pyromaniac9</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 11:15pm<b>TheyCallMeMister</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 2:21pm<b>NerdGirl321</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 11:13am<b>TheZombieGirl</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 1:46am<b>NewYorkGuy69</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 12:53am<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 7:04am<b>zeusdom</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 10:20pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 8:25pm<b>ejamitchell1</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 12:39pm<b>stayydomii</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 11:49pm<b>whatahatuis</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 6:37pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 2:11pm

Fucked!<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 8:11pm<b>cheeszus101</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 7:19pm<b>DBpiano</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 2:48am<b>zainman13</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 8:20am<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 3:23am<b>iamdman</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 6:26pm<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 3:32pm<b>Zonja</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 11:54pm<b>chrisbeaudoin</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 4:21pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 6:08am<b>Hyacinth_shmily</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 10:27am<b>purple_bunnies</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 6:40am<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 11:26pm<b>She_Elaine</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 6:13am<b>MrsHumanFrog</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 7:48am<b>JETarchitect</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 1:24pm<b>mercedesm</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 1:16am<b>mld4657</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 1:21am

platypus546's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of platypus546's badges

platypus546's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2015 at 12:41pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, my slightly batshit insane grandma called me disgusting and unladylike. Why? For writing with my left hand. FML

by lefthandspanker / 08/27/2015 at 12:34pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML

by Hey_Buddy_ / 06/10/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

by Basically_ / 05/11/2015 at 5:24pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after waking up in a panic because I was running late for work again, I realized I was fired for that exact reason the day before. FML

by Jobless in Seattle / 05/04/2015 at 10:08pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I orgasmed in front of someone for the first time. Too bad it was my dad who didn't knock before coming in. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2015 at 1:32pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me he traded nude pictures I sent him for a costume piece in an internet game. He told me I should be okay with this, because, "It's a rare piece." FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2015 at 9:16am / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

by bleue / 04/23/2015 at 8:27am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids

Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2015 at 8:53am / United States / Love

Today, when I dropped my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I asked his name. My daughter explained: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See you later, mom!" FML

by mafille / 03/18/2015 at 11:22pm / France / Kids

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML

by ManchotDesAndes / 02/26/2015 at 2:35am / Kids

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

by Fuck / 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

by FLIPmcCOOL / 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy