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plaguer

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plaguer

5Fucked!

plaguerplaguer
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 March 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8254
  • Number of comments : 170
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About plaguer : Red haired metal head gore whore video game girl. I make coffee and sell books for a living. My boyfriend is better than yours.

plaguer's page activity

Visits<b>facelick</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Woody02284</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 7:10pm<b>EPKSPARTAN</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 7:55am<b>greaterdane</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 4:17pm<b>Nail9797</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 1:53pm<b>maro300</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 9:33pm<b>Warriorflex</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 6:43pm<b>Zatert</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 11:46am<b>Bricktothehead</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 8:05am<b>shells3173</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 7:08pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 7:42pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 6:39pm<b>OhYouMad</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 8:26am<b>Sp4wn</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 3:52pm<b>Pyneapple</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 1:43am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 5:38pm<b>Ice_Cold_Llama</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 11:01am<b>lagreeni</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 6:08pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 11:38pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:16pm<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 8:25am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 10:14am<b>CuriousYel1ow</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 4:12pm

plaguer's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of plaguer's badges

plaguer's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58355) - you deserved it (29081)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59687) - you deserved it (6434)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43284) - you deserved it (7358)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56448) - you deserved it (6391)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

#20826932
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58396) - you deserved it (16429)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Latvia (Jelgavas)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70923) - you deserved it (9356)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I discovered that my wife named our kids after her former lovers. We have two sons and a daughter. FML

#20819538
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50324) - you deserved it (5030)

On 08/03/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51995) - you deserved it (11233)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53760) - you deserved it (8532)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57470) - you deserved it (6807)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59842) - you deserved it (21086)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband's recent obsession with The Sopranos since James Gandolfini died went a step further into the ridiculous, when he tried to encourage some ducks to land in our swimming pool by throwing loaves of bread into it, while bellowing at them with a 'Noo Joisey' Wise Guy accent. FML

#20770230
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31812) - you deserved it (3130)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:57am - misc - by Not Mrs Soprano (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw a little girl digging in the gravel inside the fireworks tent I work in. After she and her family left, I went and used my foot to smooth out the mound she'd made. In doing so, I discovered that she wasn't digging, she was burying. She'd pooped. FML

#20762850
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48088) - you deserved it (4523)

On 07/04/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by brokeandhungry - United States

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60200) - you deserved it (3938)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58637) - you deserved it (4189)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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