plaguer

Search for a member

Online

plaguer

34Fucked!

plaguerplaguer
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 March 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11712
  • Number of comments : 176
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About plaguer : Part time barista, tattoo parlor rest of the time. My dog's name is Bowser. I'm not naked in that first picture, sorry.

plaguer's page activity

Visits<b>chewsef</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 9:01pm<b>thatguy1531</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 11:25pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 10:46pm<b>Willman757</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 10:45pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 2:26pm<b>gorgonkiller15</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 9:01pm<b>mfaizsiddiqui</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 12:49am<b>jackthekeeper</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 12:11am<b>zipJohn</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 1:23pm<b>superhuman16</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 5:16am<b>thisguy22</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 3:40am<b>chrisbeaudoin</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 11:11pm<b>Roxas_hearts</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 4:05am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 5:06pm<b>IsathatSo</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 2:35pm<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 9:51pm<b>MitchRapp</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 10:03pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 11:33am

Fucked!<b>Willman757</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 4:45am<b>nicolai44</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 11:24pm<b>Cocoapelli</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 8:59pm<b>DeadxManxWalking</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 11:18pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 10:03am<b>Jonjon554</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 1:20am<b>alex_gen</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 9:03pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 3:28pm<b>alphasmartass93</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 2:48pm<b>sugarshugar</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 7:29pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 2:29pm<b>tengo</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 6:29am<b>prophetsam</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 7:38pm<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 8:20am<b>SpawnofAthena</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 4:51am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 5:53pm<b>FFStepchild283</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 6:53am<b>DrSirSexyLegs</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 9:22am

plaguer's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of plaguer's badges

plaguer's favorite FMLs

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

by Australian Lifeguard / 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

by anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

by facepalm / 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

by Drafrica / 10/13/2014 at 6:20am / South Africa / Intimacy

Today, I got married. It was a beautiful ceremony with all of our family and friends. Too bad it ended with us leaving the reception before dancing even started, since my groom couldn't stop bawling his eyes out from all the stress. FML

by mdwillow / 10/12/2014 at 3:46am / United States (Alaska) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML

by Beeper / 10/11/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

by Operation Yewtree here I come / 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

by RuinedTheMood / 09/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

by PerfectVision / 09/11/2014 at 2:49am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2014 at 2:44am / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

by ihatejasonderulo / 09/02/2014 at 11:32am / United Kingdom (Hounslow) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a TV show about wildlife. The moment the narrator said the word "peacock", my boyfriend broke down into hysterical laughter. He laughed to the point of tears, and had to excuse himself. I'm dating a man-child. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2014 at 1:51pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML