About plaguer : Part time barista, tattoo parlor rest of the time. My dog is part reindeer, part fox.
plaguer's FML badges
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
plaguer's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 9:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 12:31am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML
by biscuit / 01/07/2011 at 12:46am / United Kingdom / Health
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML
by Anonymous / 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Username / 12/23/2010 at 9:48am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I sat in the cafeteria at work and saw a girl, which is a rare sight at my workplace, from the back with a beautifully long ponytail. After a full hour of building up courage to perhaps say hi to her, she turned around. It was a 50-year-old man. FML
by lonelyengineer / 12/19/2010 at 5:28am / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Love
Today, after buying some groceries, I walked back to my car. After trying several times to get in the door, I finally look up and see a terrified little boy holding onto his teacup poodle for dear life, frantically waving me away. My car was two spots over. FML
by me / 12/18/2010 at 10:20pm / United States / Transportation
by sissydlk / 12/02/2010 at 10:54am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/30/2010 at 10:23am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I told my mom that I wanted professional head-shots done for Christmas. When asked why, I said "I want to submit them to a modeling agency." My mom exchanged looks with my sister before laughing so hard that she wet herself. FML
by brandiboobarry / 11/29/2010 at 1:01am / Miscellaneous
Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML
by Anonymous / 11/25/2010 at 12:24am / United States (Washington) / Transportation
by Heyy / 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were lying in her bed. We fooled around and were about to have sex as she suddenly began to cry without any reason. She cried for 30 minutes until I finally managed to calm her down. She said there was no reason for her crying. Then she fell asleep. FML
by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 7:45pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/11/2010 at 8:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
by Tai / 10/31/2010 at 9:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy